Family Secrets
by TwilightLoverMangaAddict
Summary: Renesmee learns a secret about the family. How will it affect her and Jake's relationship? What happens when there's an accident, and how does Seth fit into all of this? 14 years post BD NessieXJake, SethXOC. ON HIATUS!
1. Where, Oh Where has my Little Dog Gone?

**A/N Okay, this is my first ever fanfiction so please don't hate me if it stinks. I'm not going to be good at updating (I have the first five chapters written, but it's taken me about two weeks to get this first one typed and I've had it finished for a month) That is, unless people review. I will update if you review. I want anyone who reads this to review. This is set fourteen years after Breaking Dawn, so Renesmee is all grown up!!! By the way, don't quit reading just because it doesn't quite make sense, most stuff is explained a few paragraphs after the place it is.  
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**Disclaimer: I love Twilight, yes I do! I'm not Stephenie Meyer, How about you? yeah, I didn't think you were either.**

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Where are they? Mom, Dad, and Jacob all left a few days ago from our house in Rockford, Michigan; we moved here from Forks about five years ago because people in Forks were beginning to get suspicious about my rapid growth and my family's lack of it. Carlisle, Esme (I wish they would let me call them Grandma and Grandpa, but they say it makes them feel old, and I guess it makes sense because they are over a hundred years old and don't want to admit it), and Emmett also went. All of them but Jacob had to go hunting. Jake only left grudgingly, but everyone else needed help, and having a werewolf with them would be good against anyone who may want a fight, I didn't like that my husband was being a guard dog, even for my parents and family.

Alice had seen a vision of five vampires. There had already been major attacks in the cities of Flint and Owosso, caused by the small coven, and they were heading closer and closer to our town. My entire family other than myself, Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie, was going to go stop them. Two of the five coming toward us were newborns, uncontrollable, destructive, and stronger than Uncle Emmett. Those two were deadly.

I played in my mind Alice's vision. Between my gift and her incredible way of describing anything, we had perfected it in my mind. This had been useful now and in the past, so that everyone in the family knew exactly what Alice had seen. Now my thoughts matched her vision precisely. Alice had managed to enter the living room without me noticing and sat down by me. She gently touched the palm of my hand. She let my thought finish before she commented.

"The one in the middle has darker hair and the shorter newborn jerks around more when he walks,"she sighed. "I've already told you this."

"Alice, when are they coming home? I miss Mom and Dad and Jacob."

"Nessie, I can't tell when they're gonna' get back," Alice's tone of voice changed from sympathetic to annoyed. "Jacob's getting in the way of my visions."

"Can you tell...?"

"No. I can't see anything. I hate being blind." Alice's face was soft,worried, but her words cut through me. I pulled my hand out of her grasp and my mind raced.

"I'm going to find them,"I told Alice as I stood up. "There may only be five of the other group, but they have two newborns, and we only have six people in our group. They need help."

"NO!" Alice grabbed my arm and yanked me back down. "You could be killed! What about Cassadee? What about her then?"

"I won't get hurt" I said. The next part was harder to push up my throat. "You know that mom or Dad or Jake would give themselves up to keep me safe. I... I..."my words ended in a choke.

"And you wouldn't let them. You love them _way _too much. You know that. And you would give yourself up for any of them also. Don't go. Think of Cassie."

"You love her- just as much as I do," I blubbered. "So does Rosalie. You- you would take care of her. Probably better than- better than I could.

"Stop saying that. You would be the best person to bring Cassadee up. You know that and don't even try to disagree with me. You can't leave her. You love her. It would be bad enough if she grew up without Ja-"

"No!"I cut her off. "Jacob won't get hurt. He promised that he would be back as soon as he could be. He won't get hurt if I go help. He won't. He won't let himself be hurt."

"Like you said, he _would_ jump in front of you if a newborn was heading for you, and he would get hurt saving you. Renesmee Carlie Cullen Black, I can't let you go. Cassadee can't grow up without either you or Jacob."

As if on cue, Cassadee's small voice wailed from upstairs.

"MAMA!!!! MAMA!!!"

_"_Now look what you did Alice! You woke her up!" I looked up the stairs. "Cass! Cassadee, baby! I'm coming, hon! Mommy's coming!" I climbed the stairs to Cassadee's room where she was sobbing in her toddler bed.

"Cassadee, oh, Cass, what's wrong?"

"Mommy! You're here! You're okay." She was crying, half into her pillow, which was splotched with her tears. "You and Daddy were gone and I didn't know where you were."

"Cassadee, I'm right here, it's just fine. That won't happen."

"Where's Daddy?" Her jade eyes pierced my chocolate ones.

"I don't know where Jacob is, but he'll be back soon. Don't worry, he's with Grandpa Edward and Gramma Bella." I was reluctant to call Mom and Dad, Grandpa and Gramma for Cass.

"I want Daddy. Get Daddy."

"I want to get Daddy. My daddy, your daddy, my daddy's daddy. Everyone. But...," I took a deep breath and composed myself. "Alice was right and then I would make your nightmare come true if I left."

"What was Auntie Alice right about?"

"She was right that I can't leave you just because I want Jacob. I love you too much."

"But I want Daddy."

"I can't go. I could be hurt if I leave. I don't want to get hurt because then I couldn't take care of you, honey."

"But if you go and find Daddy, then Daddy can come back and take care of us again. Where is Daddy?"

"I don't know, Cass," I sighed. "But Daddy is going to keep us safe, even if he isn't here with us right now."

"I want Daddy," she whined, not giving an inch.

I brushed a long, dark lock back from her pale face. "I'll try to find Daddy for you," I murmured.

"Thank you Momma." Her delicate mouth opened into an huge, uncharacteristic yawn. "I love you."

"Love you too, Cass." I clapped my hands twice and the lights flicked off.

Alice was waiting just outside the door and fell into the room when I opened it to leave. A guilty look shot across her face.

"I wasn't listening in," she lied unconvincingly. "So what happened?"

"As if you don't know. Eavesdropper," I added nonchalantly.

"I wanted to know what was wrong with my. . . grandneice," she explained with a grimace.

"You're just not happy you're a great aunt. _You_ feel old." I told her smugly.

"Just tell me what happened."

"Cassadee had a bad dream. In the dream, Jake and I were both gone. You should've seen her. She wanted Jacob so badly and she was so upset."

"You can't go." Her liquid eyes froze into hard amber, even though she kept her composure. "Cass needs you."

"I know but- she needs her daddy, too," I argued weakly. "I need him. He and Cass are everything to me." My eyes teared up.

"I won't let you go. I won't!" Alice scooped me up as easily as she had when I was a baby.

"Put. Me. Down!" I commanded. She just ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. "LET GO OF ME!"

"Fine!" She dropped me unceremoniously on the kitchen floor. Alice stood- with heels- at five foot four inches. Even when I was standing at full height and Alice had heels on, I was only an inch taller than her. Right now, with seven inch stiletto heels that threatened to break any normal person's ankle, she was taller than I am normally, and very intimidating.

"ROSALIE!! JASPER!! GET OVER HERE!!" she shrieked, although they would've heard a whisper from anywhere in the house. Yes, I got her to scream, at least now, she couldn't say she was being completely calm, even Alice slipped up. I pulled myself up from the floor and into a chair. Right now, I wouldn't have been surprised if Alice had screamed at me for moving. No, she wouldn't do that. Even when she was mad, she managed to avoid losing her temper.

"Alice, what's wrong?" Jasper asked.

"Renesmee," Alice sneered, "wants to go find Jacob. She wants to just abandon her only daughter to get . . ."

"Cassadee wanted me to," I interrupted. The only thing running through my mind at that point was _What the.. How'd she get so calm that fast? She's kinda' scaring me now._

"But you're much more than willing, and you would go even if she hadn't asked." Right now, Alice wasn't threatening me or yelling or screaming or doing anything that should have had the affect that she was mad, but I still flinched at her words.

"I do want to go, but we both need him! It isn't just me, every kid needs their father."

"But..." she began, calmly.

"Ladies!!!" Jasper shouted at us, surprising me. He didn't normally use that tone of voice unless someone was being unreasonable, and I didn't see why he would use it now. And Alice hadn't been yelling. "Stop it, girls! Renesmee, we all know that its hard for you to live without Jacob here with you, but I doubt any of us think its a good idea for you to go. You're too special, and you could be hurt or killed. You know that those newborns are dangerous and if you were hurt, Cassadee would be growing up without her mother." Jasper's tone turned sharp. "That _almost_ happened to you," he growled.

Jasper's words were a slap to my face, rattling my teeth and almost bringing me back down to my knees. My mouth went numb, and the taste of rusty iron filled it. My stomach lurched and acid filled my throat. I was going to throw up.

"Rosalie, do you have anything to say?" What, someone else hurling reasons that I was being stupid at me. Now I really was going to eat my lunch again.

"As a matter of fact, I do. Nessie, you have a daughter, and you're too important to us to be leaving. Please don't go." Now I tasted the pizza from last night.

To keep from losing my stomach, I started screaming. "Why's everyone telling me this! It's my decision, my husband, my daughter, MY LIFE!!!" I should really calm down now, but I couldn't. I was so mad at Alice for trying to get me to stay, even though she never yelled. "What about you Alice? You begged for Jasper to stay, using some lame excuse that if they managed to get here, you, me and Rosalie would never be able to fight them all off! There are only five of them!" I used every excuse I could think of. "So what would you do if Jasper was out there and Jake and I were both here, cuddling up while you worried about him? What if your four month old daughter wanted her daddy as much as you did!" Alice started shrinking back but I advanced on her.

"And what if your sister would normally be able to 'see' when your whole family was coming back but it was your husband's fault that she couldn't! How would you cope? And... and... and... well, what the heck would you do?"

"Renesmee! Watch your language!!" Rosalie scolded.

Alice barely spoke in a whisper, I was wearing her down and she was once again having trouble staying calm. "That wouldn't happen to me. I can't have a kid. And I _would_ be out there with Jasper, so sue me, but look at Rosalie, she isn't running off to find Emmett."

"Emmett didn't imprint on Rosalie, Jacob _did_ imprint on me!"

"But you have a daughter. Cassadee, remember, she's right upstairs. She needs you."

"She's sleeping," I hissed, careful to lower my voice so I wouldn't wake her.

"Fine, but I'm not gonna let you go." Why was she trying so hard to keep me here, she of all people should know that no matter what, I was going to leave to get Jake at some point or another. My screaming wasn't helping me at all, so I started using my "so calm that it's scary" voice.

"I know that you don't want me to go find them but I need Jacob. I'm only giving them three days. Then we _will _go find them." Now Alice looked a bit freaked out over how quickly I calmed down. On the inside though, my blood was boiling. Alice was trying to keep me away from my Jacob and Jasper could tell how upset I was.

"Oh no," Jasper interjected. "You're not going anywhere. I'll go find them for you and send Jacob back here, but you are in no state to be going out right now."

I considered this. "Bring your cell phone," I demanded. "I want you to call us when you find Jacob so that I can at least talk to him."

"But... they brought their phones," Alice mumbled reluctantly. This was logical, because I immediately whirled around at her.

"What?" I growled. "Why didn't you tell me? I could've just called them this whole time?"

"DADDY!!!!" Cassadee screeched from upstairs. There was a low thump above us.

"Cassadee!" I bolted up the stairs, heart thudding violently against my chest. Ready for anything that might be up here, trying to hurt or take my daughter, I slammed the door open.

The rocking chair that Mom had when she was a baby at Grandpa's house had tumbled to the ground as had the night table, desk and desk chair. Nothing other than the stuff in the corner was touched, but Cassadee's bed was empty and the window was open.

I leaned my head out into the cold winter air and screamed, "CASSADEEEEEEEEE!" An echo replied with, "Cassadee, Dee, eeeeeeeee.....

"MOMMA! Mommy!" A muffled voice came from the upturned chairs, scaring me out of my wits and at the same time, giving me a surge of hope. I hurled them across the room. The chairs splintered against the wall, sending wood flying. Where the chair used to be, a shivering, terrified little girl was curled up on the floor.

"Cassadee, Cass. Oh my god I was so scared. Oh Cassadee." I pulled her to my chest and slid to the floor, tears cascading down my cheeks. All thoughts of calling Jacob slipped from my mind as I cradled the gorgeous little girl in my lap.

"Momma," she said, leaning back to look at me. I took the chance to see how much Cassadee had changed in the four months since she was born.

At the time, her young eyes were an olive greenish-brown, but since had lightened into a beautiful emerald. The same color that had been lost over the hundred years that had passed since Dad was changed. Her hair was, as my Jacob always said it, darker than a midnight without moon or stars, as always. Recently, though, she had received some reddish-blond highlights from me. It cascaded down past her shoulder blades in waves that rippled like the ocean whenever she took a step.

She was very pale, although not as fair as any of my family, she had an ever so slight tan from Jacob's side of the family.

Cassadee was growing up so fast. She already looked about two years old and acted three or four. We had no idea about how she would grow up. We tried to do research as soon as we found out that I would be having a baby, but it was useless. Jake and I were the only half-vampire and werewolf or shapeshifter couple out there. That meant that there was no way of telling when she would stop aging, if she did. Carlisle made a rough guess that she would look about seventeen when she froze, seeing that I only grew to that appearance and Jacob stopped when he was sixteen. If she didn't stop aging then, he would guess twenty. And if she didn't stop there, one of us would turn her. We could only hope.

We also had no idea if she would or wouldn't be able to phase. Did we want her to phase? That could get awkward knowing what Jacob was thinking. For all we know, she would be the "girly wolf" like Leah. And Leah hadn't imprinted or had kids yet, even though she was happily married and wanted a little girl of her own.

"What happened, Cass? Why were you over in the corner? Are you okay? Did someone come in the room?"

"Slow down, Momma. I'm okay. I think. And nobody came in the room. I'm pretty sure that there wasn't anyone. I'm not sure what happened. I was just sleeping and then I wasn't in my bed anymore and I fell. And then the rocking chair knocked everything down and and I got stuck and I didn't know where I was and...and...and... It was scary," she finished lamely.

"I think naptime's over." Alice, Jasper and Rosalie were in here with us now. "Cassadee? You okay?" Alice crouched down next to us.

"Uh-huh."

"That's good." Alice looked around the room. "Renesmee, I don't know how you did it, but you and Jacob decorated great. Your mom was useless when it came to color schemes. It looks awe..." Her eyes went blank and glassy and her jaw dropped. She followed something invisible to the rest of the room silently, not seeing the room we were standing in. Her mouth moved as though she were saying something that none of us could hear and she started shaking.

"Alice?" She blinked three times. "Alice, what did you see?"

"No, it can't be," she murmured, shaking her head slowly back and forth. Jasper pulled her into his arms. "I... I ... I saw...," she stuttered. Why was she so scared? Alice was one of the people that I could trust to keep her head in a stressful situation, possibly because Jasper was there to help her, but if she was worried, something was seriously wrong.

Jasper pulled her into a tight hug.

"Alice, honey, what was it? What did you see?"

"Edward and Bella? But I shouldn't be able to see them."

"And Jacob, right? You saw Jacob too? Jacob was there, wasn't he?" I added frantically.

"No... I can never see Jacob. I've been getting better at seeing him so I can see around him and he's just a blank spot, but there isn't even one of those."

"Rosalie, hold Cass." She obeyed wordlessly as I opened my cell phone. I pressed and held my speed dial 5, J for Jacob. It rang.

And rang and rang and rang. I clutched the phone to my ear. Eventually, something other than the predictable ringing blared in my ear.

"Hey, this is Jacob," his chipper voice piped. "Sorry I can't pick u..." I hung up and tried again and again. Eventually, my recent calls were all to Jacob in the last five minutes and I decided to call Mom. After two rings -not that I was counting- she picked up.

"Renesmee! Why haven't you called sooner?" There was a hint of worry in her voice.

"What happened to 'Oh, hello, Nessie, how are you doing?'?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Oh, um, I'm not sure?"

"Anyway, have you seen the vampires yet?"

"No, hon, no sight of them."

"Alice had a vision," I told her, cutting to the chase.

"Nessie, baby, you know that's not unusual for her."

"Of you. And Dad. But no Jake."

Silence.

"Mom? Jacob didn't pick up his cell. I called it so many times that I lost count. All I got was the answering machine. Did he lose his phone?"

"I- I wouldn't know, honey. Why do you ask?"

"Mom, can I talk to Jake?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Momma," I tried to say clearly and firmly. It came out as a sob. "Mommy, give the phone to Jacob, I need to talk to him." I was terrified of the answer. Scared to death that she would say that my Jacob didn't want me any more, or something like that. The answer was worse than everything that I had imagined put together.

"Sweetie, Jacob left to go back home six hours ago. He said that he had the feeling that you needed him and he's been really upset the last few days. We told him to go and he should've been at the house a few hours ago."

I collapsed in a dead faint.

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**A/N OOOHHHH! Cliffy!!! I like cliffys. You know what else I like? REVIEWS!!!**

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	2. Dreamland

**A/N I know that this is a short chapter, but this chapter and the next one used to be one chapter. I just figured that this chapter would be better on its own. I'll get the next one up ASAP. By the way, I'm looking for a Beta Reader to check over my story for me. If you want to be the Beta, PM me. Not a review, A PM  
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**This is a shoutout for my three reviewers for this chapter. Alicefan98, Mailen1194 and the anonymous user, (aka, my friend who I kinda guilted into reviewing) Guinea Pig : ]**

**This chapter is dedicated to my first ever reviewer, Mailen1194!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!  
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Disclaimer: (insert funny and witty "I do not own Twilight it belongs to Stephenie Meyer" joke here)

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It could've been seconds, hours or days before I came to. I couldn't tell how long I'd been out. People were talking, or really, arguing, in the background. I, however, also knew that Jacob wasn't here with me and I didn't really want to get up until I knew where he was. I let myself slip from the noise in the room and into dream land. In my dream, when I called Jacob, he had picked up the phone.

_RING! RING!_

"Nessie! I'm so glad that you called! I missed you so much." Jacob's voice was happy and I was relieved that he had gotten the call.

"Oh, Jakey, I miss you too, and so does Cass. She has nightmares that you're never coming back. She was so scared when she woke up from her nap, you should've seen her."

"I'm so sorry. I'll be home ASAP. We just have to take care of the leeches."

"Have you even seen them yet?"

"Ummm... no. Not so much as a glimpse, but Eddie-boy, Mr. Mind Reader heard one of them and then lost the voice."

"Dad? That does _not_ sound like him. That sounds like Mom."

"Ummm, well, lets just say that, um, your mom was, um, _distracting_ Edward when he heard it. Don't ask me how, I'd rather not say. Just that their clothes were in danger if I hadn't pulled them back to reality."

"EEEEWWWW!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaay to much information. But I guess that would be just like Mom." I sighed. "I wish you were here. You can't really do much to help right now."

"I could come home now, Nessie," he told me. "Would it help at all?" He asked as though I was sick and fragile and he wanted to be with me for the last moments of my life. Of course. He was my life and I was his and he would do anything for me. He'd take a bullet or walk through fire for me, not that either of them would actually hurt him for long. "Do you want me to come home?"

I considered this before saying, "You could come home or maybe... I could come help you."

"No," he interrupted. "I can't let you risk getting hurt if you come here to help."

"And I cant let _you_ risk getting hurt if I don't come."

"You're a stubborn little girl, aren't you."

"I'm not a little girl."

"You're only fourteen."

"Jacob, do I look fourteen?" I asked. "Do I act fourteen?"

"Um, no,"

"And do fourteen year olds have daughters?" I chuckled at the thought and then was disgusted. So that's why Mom and Dad freaked out when he found out that I was pregnant. "Bad question."

"No, not human girls, not normally, at least, I hope not, but you're not human, you're half-vampire. You have a daughter, and she needs you."

Not _this_ again. Everyone tells me that," I moaned. "Not you too. Can't you just come home, then we'll both be happy. I won't be in the middle of any fight that you might get into and you'll be here with me."

"I'll ditch as soon as I can. I should be home in an hour."

"And _I_ will meet you halfway so that you don't have to be alone on the run home."

"Love y..." Halfway through his words, Rosalie's scream broke through my little protective bubble of unconsciousness.

"How did you lose the dog! How, Bella" He's effing twelve feet tall when he's a mutt and not that much shorter when he isn't covered in fur!" She listened for a second. "No, it _is_ your fault. And it's yours too Edward! Don't think I can't hear you laughing! I know you can hear me!"

I realized that I wasn't on the floor anymore, someone had moved me to the couch and piled blankets on me. Cassadee's favorite teddy bear was tucked under my arm. How cute.

"Rose," I groaned, "why are you defending him? He's a big boy. He can defend himself. You don't even like him." Rosalie's surprised expression almost perfectly mimicked Mr. Spock's from the original _Star Trek_ TV series. Eyebrows up and interest in her eyes, but unlike Spock, she had fear creased in her eyebrows and had been screaming at my parents not ten seconds before.

Suddenly, it all came rushing back to me. I had remembered that I had collapsed, but I hadn't remembered why. Now I did. Jacob was missing. "Jacob," I squeaked.

"MOMMY!" Cassadee gleeful shriek split the tension in the air like a knife to a taut rope. Rosalie went back to screaming into the phone. "Momma, Aunt Rosalie and Auntie Alice are arguing with Bella and Edward. They've been yelling for almost an hour. They are arguing about you and Daddy and me. Make them stop!" She looked ready to go into a full out temper tantrum, if only to stop Rosalie.

"Don't cry, Cassadee. I'll make them stop." I shut my eyes extra tight and concentrated hard. _STOP IT!! _ I thought. _Can't you tell that Cassadee hates to see you yelling? She's scared to death and she's going to start screaming and crying and throwing a fit if you don't stop yelling at Mom and Dad!_

Rosalie froze, dumbstruck by my telepathic command. She looked so guilty and upset at making Cassadee upset. She was like my second mother, and she was Cassadee's godmother. Jacob and I figured that since she was so much of my upbringing that she would want to help with Cassadee. We wanted to make it official that she would be one of Cassadee's legal guardians. We could hear Mom on the other end of the phone.

"-not _my_ fault that Jacob was trying to be a good husband and father!" She quieted down. "I'm sorry. Renesmee must be worried sick and I am too. He was my best friend and he was there for me all those years ago. I wouldn't have let him go if I'd known he would get lost or hurt or whatever happened to keep him away from home. Edward's listening for any hint of Jacob's thoughts. Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett are on the lookout, too, but nobody's seen or heard anything. We're doing everything we can."

I snatched the phone from Rosalie's half-paralyzed hand.

"Mother?" I whispered, trying to let her know that I was here without startling her.

"Since when do you call me 'Mother'?" She asked, careful to keep the joking out of her voice. She was also whispering.

"Since now. Please, Momma, find Jacob for me. For me, for Cassadee. Please?"

"We're trying, Hon. We really are." I could just imagine what Mom would do if she were here. She would hold me in her lap as if I really were only an average seven year old. "I want to find him just as much as you. He was my best friend."

"I'm his imprint. It was bad enough when thought that I knew that he was gonna' come back. Now I don't know if he will come back or not. For all I know, he's d-d-d-dea-dead."

"No, you'd know if he was dead. You'd be able to feel it. You two have a bond. He isn't dead. He may be hurt, but-,"

"Not helping!"

"What I mean," she sighed, "is that he'll hold on as hard as he can. He won't let go. Don't give up your hope. If he's hurt too bad to last, he'd want to die in your arms. And I seriously doubt that he's hurt that bad. You'll see him again."

"Fine, but if you haven't found him by Saturday, I'm coming to find him. And if we happen to meet that coven, I'll help fight if necessary."

"IF you think that's best, I won't stop you. I'm glad you're giving us a week, though. We don't need to bring you out here to call for Jacob until we know we need it."

"I love you, Mom. You, Jacob, Cassadee and Dad are the most important people in my life, I can't imagine living without any of you."

"Ummm... did you have a good day at school yesterday?" Mom asked, trying to get off the subject. She wasn't good at expressing her feelings.

"Mom..." I warned.

"Did you see Holly? Are you ready to go back Monday?" I didn't want to make small talk.

"Of course I saw Holly. I always see Holly at school, she's my only friend. I'm not going to school on Monday."

"Renesmee, I know that this is stressful, but that's no reason to ditch class."

"I'm not skipping. Winter break starts Monday. Are you going to keep on trying to distract me?"

"No, I won't. I love you, Ness. Edward says the same."

"Love you both, too. If you find Jacob, send him back- no, call me and I'll bring someone to replace Jacob when I come pick him up. If you don't, I'll see you in a week."

"You're a strong-willed girl, you know that? If we can't find him, you will. It may take a while, but you will find Jake."

"I will. And when I find him, I am gonna teach him the art of time travel."

"How?"

"By knocking him into next week." An evil grin spread across my face.

"Um, why would you do that?"

"Because he had me worried. And he got lost. And..."

"That's the Nessie I know. I understand."

"Good, now stop using up our cell phone minutes."

"It's not like we can't pay for them." I could hear her rolling her eyes.

"Bye, Mom."

"Love you, Baby. Try not to freak out over the next week."

"I'm not a baby anymore."

"I know." Even though she hung up, I still whispered, too low for anyone else to hear, "Then let me come help." The only answer I got was the dial tone.

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**A/N Thanks for reading, I'll get the next chapter up ASAP. **

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	3. The Straw that Broke the Camel's Back

**A/N WOOT!! TWO CHAPTERS IN 24 HOURS!!! I've been working on this chapter all to the two people that reviewed this time. Seriously, I didn't think that anyone would review since I was going to put up the next chapter as soon as it was typed. I still don't have a Beta Reader (though I may get my sister to do it. I'm thinking about sharing this account with her so that she can put her stories up, but I'll have main control of the account. Note that we will say who wrote the story in the summary) So if you want to be the Beta, let me know**

**A/N There Is a hunting scene at the end of this chapter. **

**Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to **TinyTwilightBD44** for being the first reviewer for this chapter (wow, I can't believe that you actually stayed up late enough to review yesterday) and to **Mailen1194** for being the most dedicated reviewer. Seriously, I have, like, 104 hits on this story, but only five reviews? come on.  
**

**Disclaimer: Twilight is great, Twilight is good, I don't own Twilight, but I wish that I could. I also don't own Harry Potter.  
**

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"Why haven't they called yet? Mom was supposed to call me! They were supposed to call me when they found Jacob!!!" I moaned. It was Tuesday, three days after Jacob went missing and I was going crazy. The only way that I could vent my worry was ranting to anyone about anything and everything. Today, Rosalie was in the direct line of fire of my fear.

She dropped her magazine and looked up. "Renesmee. Calm. Down," she growled. I wonder if I was getting on her nerves. "Bella called and hour ago. You talked to her, remember? They haven't called because they haven't found him yet. Like you said, he's a big boy. If they don't find him, Jacob will find them."

My stomach dropped hearing his name. The one subject that I hadn't gone over a million times was my Jacob.

Rosalie picked up her fashion magazine again and stared back down at it, completely ignoring me. I sighed loudly. I didn't feel like it, but when I looked at the clock, it screamed that it was seven PM and time for dinner. I felt my stomach knot uncomfortably and I had a sinking feeling that Cassadee felt the same way.

"I'm going to cook," I mumbled. "Cooking is good. Cassadee needs food. Cooking will get my mind off... him." The fridge was always full, the food that Esme always bought for me, Jacob, and Cassadee cutting signifigantly into our fortune.

I pulled everything that I needed for grilled cheese sandwiches, the cheese, bread, and butter and out of habit, grilled up seven sandwiches.

"JAC..." I froze. Jacob wasn't here to eat the extra five sandwiches. Cassadee and I could only stomach one each and the rest of the family couldn't eat. I hated this. I wanted my Jacob. I wanted to go out to find him in the forest, waiting for me to come bring him home. I wanted to have Jacob come home and scoop me and Cassadee into his overly large, warm, open arms.

I clutched one of the warm grilled chese sandwiches to my chest, staining my nice shirt with grease and destroying the sandwich and slipped into a chair. Everything made me cry.

A cold hand rested carefully on my sholder.

"What's wrong, Renesmee?" Jasper asked carefully. Of my family, I was furthest from him and we didn't connect well, but he helped me keep my emotions in check. "Alice sent me down from our room to find out what was wrong. She's getting annoyed with my, or really your, mood swings. One second we're fine and then you break down crying and I can't help but feel upset too. Why this time?"

"I- I made too much lunch," I explained weakly, holding up the mangled sandwich.

"And?"

"I made enough for me, Cass and Jacob. I miss him. I- I- I..."

"Jacob? I shoud've known," he said, letting his Texan accent slip through. "Don't worry Ma'am," he joked, acting the part of the hero, as well as calming me down and making me more susceptible to joking. "We'll find 'm in no time."

"Yes, Sir." I giggled. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"CASSADEE!!! DINNER'S READY!" I shouted. Cassadee literally appeared by my side. I screamed. "WOAAAGCH!"

"I'm ready for lunch, Mommy."

"How'd you do that?" I choked.

"What?" Cassadee asked, cofused, and her pretty little face was contorted with fear. "Did I do something wrong?"

"I... I don't think so?" My throat tightened and I couldn't breathe. I was flabbergasted. I turned to look at Jasper. His jaw was on the floor and despite his almost black eyes, his main concern seemed to be how Cassadee had appeared at our feet. This scared me, but unlike me, Jasper found his voice.

"You- bedroom- kitchen- how?- poof?"

"Huh?"

My throat opened up. "You were, in the bedroom and then you just... appeared," I explained, only half understanding myself. "How did you just...poof?"

"I do that sometimes. It's kinda hard so I don't really do it very often and now I'm kinda' tired. I never went as far as all the way from my room to here. My room is all the way on the other side of the house."

"You can teleport," I breathed in realization. "That's your gift."

"What's a telapotty?" How cute. She may be old for her years, but that doesn't keep her from being my baby.

"Not telapotty, you can teleport. It means, well, it means that you can disappear from one place and appear in another without walking or running or anything. As Jasper oh-so-accurately put it, you go 'Poof'."

"It's not normal?" she asked desperately. "Is there something wrong with me?"

"I started laughing, a funny sound in itself, not a tinkling of bell or a guffaw but a loud beautiful laugh, as my mom told me.

"Cassadee, there's nothing wrong with you. It's normal to have a power. I can show my thoughts, Mo- Bella has an immunity to some powers, Da- Edward can read minds, Uncle Jasper can feel emotions and make you feel happy or sad or angry, Auntie Alice can see the future, your daddy can turn into a big wolf. It's normal- well, at least for our family."

"O-o-okay."

We both saw and heard Jasper doubled over in laughter.

"Major Jasper Hale Cullen WHITLOCK!!!" I demanded authoritatively. Instinctively, he pulled his feet together and then out to shoulder width. He clapped his hands behind his back. "Would you mind telling us just what you find so amusing?"

"It's just..." he muttered, half lauging and half upset because I had tricked him into being quiet. "Just-"

"SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!!!"

"Ness, that's what your mom said when she found out that Edward couldn't read her mind."

"Oh! I- I guess that would be funny to you. Oh." There was nothing more to say until I noticed Cassadee swaying a little.

"Cassadee, are you okay?You don't look too well." I knelt down to her eye level and slid my hand under her bangs. "You have a fever! You should really sit down for a minute."

"I- I- I'm fine..." Cassadee slumped into my arms.

"Cassadee!" I shrieked. My eyes searched for help. As they met with Jasper's terrified ones- which must be a mirror of mine- I could tell that it wasn't a trick. He wasn't making her lethargic so she would collapse and he hadn't put her body on high alert so that she would get a fever. My eyes locked with Alice's ebony ones. "Alice," I begged.

"What happened? Is she okay?"

"I- I- I don't know!" I wailed.

"She just found her power," Jasper added. "Cassadee can teleport. She jumped across the house from her room to here. Could that be it?"

"I don't know. I'm not a doctor."

"Can't you help at all?" I asked. "My daughter just collapsed and I don't know what to do."

"Lay her on the couch or in bed. I'll get a cold compress to put on her forehead to try to get the fever down. Jazzycakes, can you help to wake her up?"

"I don't think that it's a good idea to wake her up. She needs to sleep to get better. I'll make sure she's sleeping and not just plain unconcious."

I picked my little girl up and cradled her to my chest. Rosalie met me in the doorway to the living room.

"I'll take her. You shouldn't be holding her," she told me. My jaw dropped. "I mean, it'll just raise her fever. If I carry her, she'll cool down some."

"I'm coming with you." She nodded her head in reply. I watched as she slid Cassadee into her bed and covered her with a thin sheet. "Isn't the point to keep her cool?"

"The sheet will wick the sweat off so it'll get her cooler. What?" She asked when I looked at her as though she was crazy. "When you were born, Bella and I went to go buy out the child care books from all of the bookstores in the tristate area. I was surprised that you didn't do the same thing."

"Oh," I muttered. "OH!!! She's sweating? Isn't that bad? And why is she shivering?"

"It just means that the fever is getting higher. It should be stopping soon."

"Will she be okay?"

"Well, for humans, a one-oh-nine-point-eight degree fever means death." I squeaked. "But Cassadee is part vampire and part werewolf. I'm not a doctor, but I will say this," she continued as Alice and Jasper walked in. "Teleporting must be hard work. We'll let her rest. As long as she's breathing and her heart's beating, she's alive."

"I'm going to hunt," I told everyone impulsively. It was a spontaneous decision, but I knew what I was going to do. It was like when Harry used the Felix Felicis in the Half-Blood Prince. I didn't know why, but I had a feeling that I needed to hunt, and I needed a distraction. "I need to go alone," I demanded, sensing that Alice and Rosalie were going to volunteer to come with me. "I need to think. I need to get myself together."

"Can't you let one of us go with you, we won't bother you."

"No, Ali, I can't Cassadee needs you guys here. She needs me too, but I need to get out for two hours, that's all."

"Okay," she said in defeat. "Where are you planning on hunting?"

"Illinois!" I blurted. "They have a- a- white-tailed deer overpopulation and you know how I like deer and elk and that sort of stuff. I wanted to try something new."

"Seems like you've had this trip planned out a while."

"Yeah..." It was completely improvised, though I had searched for animals native to some of the states in our area. Alice seemed to believe it and even looked a little downcast at my response.

"Fine, but can't you wait for Cassadee to wake up? I think that she'd want her mother here when she woke up."  
"No. I can't. I can't take this any more. Try to walk a mile in my shoes right now. Your husband, your daughter's father, has gone missing. He's a werewolf who just happened to imprint on you and now you have a daughter an you have no idea where he is or even if he's okay. Your daughter found her power, which happens to be teleporting and she can't control the power. She actually managed to teleport in her sleep and scared you half to death. And to make things worse, Jacob wasn't here to see it," I whimpered. "It isn't fair."

"I know, I know, Renesmee." Alice, Jasper and Rosalie all reached for my had at the same time, but I yanked it away before any of them could touch it. I was able to keep people from hearing my thoughts whey they touched my hand, but when I was emotionally compromised, my power betrayed me (which quite often made things a bit awkward when Jacob and I were kissing or in bed), and right now, Alice didn't need to know what I was thinking.

"Renesmee," she whined.

"No!" Tears started flying behind me as I bolted out the door and through the woods. "Nononononononono! Jacob, Jacob, I need you. I'm gonna' find you, I need you, I'll find you."

I kept running. Any of the others were much faster and stronger than me and would have caught me by now if they'd wanted to or they had seen any reason other than to keep an eye on me. There was no scent of the house way out here and I hadn't been able to hear any of the others for the past five minutes. My run slowed to a human-paced jog.

For good measure, just in case the protective Rosalie smelled my breath when I got home, just to make sure that I had actually hunted, I searched for a deer to hunt. I hunted differently from my family. While they could only drink the blood of the animal, I hunted more like a true animal, eating the solid meat as well as the wine coursing through its veins.

The scent caught in my throat, searing it dry. I felt my pupils elongate to vertical ovals. My body tensed , every muscle screaming to be released to start the hunt.

Instinct took over and I sprung forward, teeth bared to tear into the unsuspecting beast's flesh. I reached the small spring where the animals were drinking in seconds and attacked. I had downed the first two and torn the last to shreds before the other deer could react and I turned on the fourth.

My long-fingered, blood-stained hands snapped its neck easily. The doe was dead before I sunk my teeth into its broken neck and sucked it dry. I began stripping the carcass of meat when something fell from the midsection and landed with a small splat on the ground.

It was a pale slimy little thing, not obviously living, dead or nonliving, but I had no trouble identifying it. It was an unborn baby deer, helpless as I destroyed its mother, at the same time taking away any chance of living that it had. Though the four deer had not already satiated my thirst and the baby was bleeding, I was repulsed by the red blood spilling onto the ground.

It never got to see the light of day and it was my fault. I killed a defenseless little baby. Sure the baby was an animal and not a human, but it was a baby nonetheless. I picked up the fawn gently and tried to keep the blood in. I went as far as trying to get its heart pumping again and to make it breathe. It didn't work.

I was a monster.

"No. Nononono." My breath stopped coming. "Why? Why'd I have to attack your mother. Even if you had lived, you wouldn't have a chance to grow up because you are an orphan and you have no one to care for you. Life isn't fair."

I took the dead fawn to the river and washed it off, watching the blood and slime being swept off down the river. Once the fawn was clean, I placed it on the ground gently, tears spilling onto the ground and dug a hole in the ground. I put the doe in first and then the fawn, placing its head on its mother's neck. They could have been sleeping were they not pale and broken.

I continued crying as I poured the dirt back into the hole on top of the two deer. I was still sobbing when I heard the bush behind me rustle. I didn't want to leave the grave, but I had to see if this was who I thought it was.

"Jacob?" Someone tall and muscular stepped from the bushes into the shadows, his face still hidden. "JACOB!!!"

I ran up to him, pulling him into a huge hug and planting a huge kiss right on his lips.

It wasn't Jacob.

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**A/N Please don't be mad at me about the cliffy ending. I love ending in cliffies. it makes my readers come back. **

**Like you know, Review. THat button there isn't useless, you know. right now, it seems like only four of my readers understand that. I have 104 hits on this story and 100 of those people don't know how to use the review button. I'm ashamed. So show me that you do know how to use the button down there. You wanna push it. you know you wanna.  
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	4. The Big Secret

**A/N Sorry I haven't updated over the weekend. I've been in Miami visiting my cousin and haven't had a chance to update. This is a really long chapter. It's seven pages on OpenOffice (Microsoft word for linux) This chapter explains a few things that someone has had an issue with, and I wanted to address it. I also just changed chapter two a little bit so that this chapter makes sense. sorry if there were two update alerts. bear with me please. I'm writing, editing and posting at the same time and when I change one little thing, the butterfly affect goes off. I have to change lots of stuff if I change something a little. go back to chapter three and reread the dream scene if you noticed a continuity error between there and here. I've changed it.**

**This is dedicated to Kdub4127 for reviewing twice.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Nobody on this site owns Twilight unless SM still has the account that she used for that one contest. And I highly doubt that any of you are SM. I'm too tired to say anything witty.  
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I yanked away from the strange man. My mouth was filled with the mouthwateringly delicious taste of human blood that burned my throat and threatened to turn me into a monster. I fought against the vampire within me. Normally, I try to avoid killing as much as possible and hunt only when necessary, living off human food most of the time, but I was considering actually going vegan and only eating tofu and soy milk after this. I was repulsed. I had never touched a man other than my Jacob in my life.

I backed up against a tree, crouched into a defensive position, and flung my hair into a curtain between me and the strange man. He looked at me like I was food and took in a deep breath. It looked like he was sizing me up, even though he already knew he could take me. Or so he thought. He thought I was human, weak and breakable. I won't break that easily. If he snaps my neck, I'll just put it right back into place. And I won't let him bite me. I needed to get back to Cassadee, I needed to find Jacob.

His crimson eyes looked me up and down, slightly confused at why a "human" would be acting defensive towards him. He looked like the "bad-boy" type, the type of vampire who would lure a girl to come with him into an empty alley and then attack. He was almost as tall as Jacob and darker skinned than most vampires that I knew. This was why I had mistaken him for my husband, and that he looked quite strong, though no more than Jake.

Both his shirt- a green jersey- and jeans were ripped and never sewn back up. He only wore flip-flops on his feet, and his fiery red hair stood up on his head like flames. He looked very familiar, but I couldn't quite place why.

"Well, well, well," he asked, in a voice that reminded me of a winters' night. He knelt down to my side and traced my jaw with his long fingers. His cold touch sent a tremor down my spine. "What do we have here?"

I growled and spat at him.

"Ooh, you're a feisty one, aren't you?"

"Leave me alone," I hissed, my words dripping with ice. I screamed in my head for Jacob. "I'm not human."

"Oh, you aren't, aren't you?" He sauntered around the tree and stuck his head out right beside mine. "Your heart beats. You. Are. Scared. So what are you going to do to stop me from doing this?"

He leaned even closer and placed his lips on my neck, opening them slightly. _Jacob! Jacob. I love you Jacob. I love you. I love you, Cassadee, Mom, Dad, Rosalie, Emmett, everyone._

A figure erupted from the bushes in front of me.

"MARCELLIUS!!!" She shrieked. She looked almost human, but I could tell that she wasn't.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded leaping up and stomping towards her. Faster than I could process, she slapped the back of his head. "You just lost me my lunch!"

"She hasn't run yet and you know that I don't want you to lure kids out to feed on them! You've scared her out of her wits!" The man turned around to see if I had actually stayed there. Of course. I was frozen in fear. This scene was even more familiar. Three more people shoved through the bushes. The tall man with the spiky black hair came to the woman's side, wrapping his arm gently around her waist. Two newborns went to the opposite side of the leader, Marcellius, had she called him? All of the newcomers had burgundy eyes, but the woman had refused to meet my gaze.

Alice's vision.

"Go hunt," I heard the woman whisper. "Take the newborns. We don't want to scare her any more than Captain Idiot has already and I don't want her hurt. Or dead." This surprised me. I disapproved when Jacob called my family bloodsuckers or leeches, but that was exactly what this coven was. Evil, bloodsucking killers.

The man squeezed her waist quickly and for a moment, they looked like a completely normal human couple. I almost expected the forest to melt into a mall filled with hundreds of other people and for the man to kiss her gently. As he herded the crazed newborns away from me and to the south, the woman inched toward me.

"It's okay, Little One," she crooned. I almost laughed. She only looked about four years older than me, but it was so true that I was much younger than her. About thirteen years younger, unless she was changed many years ago.

Her hair, shoulder length and brown with caramel and barely reddish highlights, the red being so light that no human would notice them, swished slightly as she came closer. "I won't hurt you." I looked up at her and took in the rest of her features. Her face was almost heart shaped, but a bit taller and rounder, and her eyes were wide and alert.

"Oh!" I gasped, seeing the amber shade of her eyes that was the trademark of a vegetarian vampire. "Your eyes."

"What about them?" she asked, now worried. "Is there something wrong with them? Did I smudge my mascara or something?" The woman was trying to distract me.

"No," I said carefully, in a desperate attempt to be discreet. "I just noticed the color of your eyes. My parents' eyes are the same color."

"Okay," she breathed.

She was just relaxing when I blurted out, "You don't feed off of humans." She grimaced.

"Whatever do you mean?" she questioned sweetly and I wondered if she actually was a vampire. Of course she's a vampire. "Why would I feed on humans?"

"You don't feed on human blood." She sighed again. I felt any doubt lift off of my mind. "I know about vampires."

"You know the secret. You can't live."

"Yes I can. I have just as much of a reason to keep the secret as you."

"What?"

"I... I have a secret too," I mumbled. "My entire family. They're like you. They don't drink human blood. They don't want to be monsters. They're also vampires."

"And you?"

"Ummm, not exactly. I'd rather not talk about it."

"But you aren't human. That much I can tell. You don't smell human. Tell me," she demanded.

"Drop it. I want to know who you are. Your boyfriend over here almost killed me. For me, a vampire bite is lethal. It isn't eternal life." When she flinched, I could tell that I'd hit below the belt.

"Marcellius isn't my boyfriend. He's the leader of our little group." she hissed. Her voice got softer. "Joshua is my boyfriend. My name is Eileen. Like you've probably figured out, this is Marcellius. We haven't been able to get the newborns to tell us their names. They just joined us a few weeks ago. Josh was hunting and he caught a whiff of those two and attacked. I got him off of them before he killed them, but they were turned." Eileen sighed again. "He tries."

"So, Joshua doesn't make a habit of hunting humans?" I asked, taking the vague hints she'd given me and putting two and two together.

"He really tries. He does. I love him, but he has problems with self-control. They're going hunting now. Well, I hope that Josh isn't. He's just the chaperon for the newborns, keeping them from going on a massacre. He must have slipped up earlier today, even though we went hunting a few days ago. He had gold eyes this morning." Eileen winced at the thought of draining a human of his blood.

"So why are you coming towards Rockford?"

"Do you live there? And how did you know that we were going that way?"

"My aunt," I grumbled, reluctant to spill a family secret.

"Oh! Alice, right? She saw us coming to Rockford?" My dumbfounded stare prompted another explanation. "Lucky guess. Stories go around. You're Renesmee Cullen, aren't you?" My jaw must have dropped at least an inch lower than it was supposed to because there was a sudden burst of pain through the lower half of my face. Even after Eileen laughed and gently closed my mouth, I had to pop my jaw back in place and the resulting click was clearly audible. "Your family is famous. The first known human and vampire couple where the human lived, and they end up with a half-vampire daughter who's mistaken for an immortal child. Then when the Volturi come, your family pretty much brings an army together and resists them. You live, there's no fight, but your family think it too dangerous to keep living in Forks so a few years later, you all move to Rockford."

"How do you know so much about us?"

"I told you, stories." She was hiding something, but I had a feeling that now would not be a good time to bring it up. "Your aunt can see the future and saw us coming to Rockford, didn't she?"

"No, she saw the five of you standing like you were a few minutes ago and assumed that you were coming toward our city. Unless she's _seen_ you before, any time that she sees something, it has something to do with the family."

"Anyway," Eileen exclaimed as though we were good friends who had been interrupted during a conversation, "why did you come all the way out here? You can live off human food, can't you?"

"I usually do, Jacob is always at the house with us and he doesn't drink blood."

"The werewolf?"

"Yeah. Would you sit with me for a second?" She slid down the trunk of the tree, her grass-stained jeans contrasting incredibly with her pale ankles and my red miniskirt and ivory legs. "Close your eyes."

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU THINKING, EILEEN! WE CAN'T TRUST HER!"

"Shut up, Mark!" I ignored them both and placed my hand on her cheek gently. Only for my family and others that I was close to could I project my thoughts over the air. I showed her my family.

"What was that?" she gasped.

"My mom and dad, Carlisle and Esme-my grandparents- Uncle Emmett, and my husband. He's who I'm looking for. He went missing a few days ago." I explained, showing her my thoughts once again, Jacob only in his human for, seeing as Eileen didn't seem to have put together that Jacob and my husband were the same person.

"Husband?"

"Uh-huh. Dad didn't like where our relationship was going, especially since we weren't husband and wife yet. The way I saw it, there was no way to make our bond any stronger, so marriage would be pointless. But there was no privacy at the main home and the only way that Dad would let us buy a house together was if we were married. So we got married about a year ago and soon after, Cassadee was born. Look at me, I'm rambling. Have you seen my family?"

It was all true. Dad despised Jacob for imprinting on me and didn't want us to be a couple, but there was no way to stop it and whether or not I had married him, he would always be mine and I his. Dad also didn't want us to buy a house until we were married. Just one of his ways to try to keep us under his watchful eye and our relationship at bay. I loved Jacob, but both he and Dad knew that I really didn't want to get married, but Dad needed it to be "official" before he'd let us move out.

When we finally did get married, fourteen years after Jacob imprinted on me, after much pestering from Alice, Rosalie, Esme and Mom, and much to the annoyance of Dad, we had bought our house and moved in the same day. We found out about Cassadee a few weeks later, Dad was furious, the rest of us were ecstatic, but more than anything, we were all flabbergasted. I had stopped growing years previously and none of us thought that I could have a baby while I was still growing, let alone seven years later.

"Cassadee?"

"My... daughter. Cassadee Dakota. Have you seen any of my family? "  
"I'm sorry, Renesmee, we haven't seen your husband. I think that we saw your parents a couple of minutes before we saw you." I leaped up at this new information.

"MOM! DAD!" I shrieked. "CARLISLE! ESME, EMMETT!!!" Marcellius was back around the tree and covering my mouth, holding me down. "JACOB!!!" I tried to yell out. I felt my teeth graze Marcellius's skin, and he laughed.

"No getting out of this one," he said.

"Let go of her, Marcellius! She doesn't want any trouble, she just wants her family!" Rocks started bouncing off him. "Her family heard her yelling, and they're coming now so you might want to let go of her!"

He yanked away from me and seventeen rocks, a boulder, and a tree froze in midair. Eileen had one arm straight in front of her, had perpendicular to her arm with her fingers spread apart in the easily recognized sign for "stop", which seemed perfectly normal, considering what she had just yelled. But she moved her other hand in a way that could not have been natural. As she gently flicked her hand, opening and closing her fingers as though she was pitching and catching an invisible baseball, but in a smoother way, the pine tree rotated from horizontally like an arrow to a normal vertical position. She then waved her arm and the tree floated as though she had gently pushed it. Did the same for the boulder. She clenched her fist and everything fell to the ground with a thunderous thud.

Dad and Emmett burst from the bushes, obviously in their fighting positions, Dad crouching while at the same time looking very big, and Emmett raising to his full height and looking absolutely huge, a deep growl escaping both their chests. Mom and Esme followed, crouching more defensively. Finally, Carlisle sauntered in, whistling a happy tune.

"Mom! Dad!" I screamed, running to hug them and knocking Dad flat on his back. In less than half a second, he was back up on his feet. Mom pulled me to her chest. I snapped my head up at Dad's growl. "They won't hurt me. Eileen won't let him hurt me, she's vegetarian. They're from Alice's vision."

"I know," he growled, "and I don't trust them."

"Don't hurt them."

"I won't, I want to ask them some questions so that I can know if I should tear them to shreds."

"Shoot," Eileen told him.

"First of all, Eileen, why are you here?"

"We're nomads. We never stay in one place more than a few weeks at a time."

"You're vegetarian. Why travel with four other vampires, two of which are newborns, who don't stick to your diet?"

"I don't normally travel with Marcellius. Joshua and I travel the world to try to get traditional vampires to change to our diet. I met Joshua a few months ago and he agreed to try my diet. He had eyes as gold as mine and yours until today. He must have slipped up when he went hunting earlier. The newborns are only a few weeks old, and once they're sane, we'll try to convince them to stop hunting humans. Marcellius is very stubborn, and won't even try animals, and therefore a lost cause."

"Try primate," Carlisle suggested. "They are the closest relatives to humans and will taste most like them."

"Joshua," Dad stated. "You and he are very close." Dad didn't even try to ask it as a question. He winced at the thoughts that were written on her face and running through her head.

"Oh, yes, we love each other very much. But you already knew that, you can hear what I think, can't you?"

Dad ignored this remark and went on to the next question. "So, who are you spying for?" he accused.

"SPY!!!" I shrieked. All heads turned to me. Mom rushed over to me to hold me down, her motherly instincts kicking in when I lunged for Eileen. Something that Eileen had just thought angered Dad even more. To keep him from attacking her, both Emmett and Carlisle had to grab him. Through this, Eileen had started crying and Esme had gone over to comfort her. "You were _spying _on us? Since when do we have someone spying on us? You were so nice to me."

"Please, please," Eileen begged. "I'm sorry. I had to. They would've killed Josh if I hadn't. They've been keeping tabs on you. I wanted to warn you, I really did."

"Who?" I snarled.

"The Volturi." Dad had answered for Eileen since she was unable to speak through her sobs. "She's been spying on us for nearly fourteen years now, since a year before you were born."

"I can't believe you were spying on us. I- I- I hate you!"

"Calm down, calm down, stop kicking, Renesmee," Mom commanded. "It hurts. And you know how dangerous the Volturi are. They wanted to kill you. Just because they didn't know what you were. They were afraid of you and they're afraid of us. It makes sense that they would want to watch us, we're the only family that's ever resisted them."

"And that makes spying on us okay?"

"No, but you can see how much Joshua means to her. What if you were told to spy on someone or else they would hurt us?" I didn't answer.

"Renesmee?" I heard Eileen ask tentatively, still shaking.

"Call me Nessie." Eileen froze, slightly confused and I could hear a slight gasp as she realized what I was saying.

"Really? You forgive me already?" I nodded. "Oh, thank you, thank you so much!" She squealed in a very Alice-like fashion that actually made me look around to see if the fortune telling pixie was with us. I did not expect her to be so excitable. She wrapped her arms around me and Mom, still bouncing.

"So, what's your story?" Mom asked Eileen, pushing her away gently. "You already know ours. You know that I fell in love with Edward when I was still human and that Renesmee is our daughter. You know all of us."

"Well, Carlisle was my next door neighbor and I remember very clearly that he was like a big brother or uncle to me..."

"Wait," Carlisle interrupted. "You lived next door to me?"

"Yes, don't you remember?"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I don't remember you. I can't put my finger on why, but I can't remember very many people from when I was human. Wait, wait... no, ummm." I could care less how Eileen knew Carlisle, but watching him struggle to remember something was hilarious.

"Anyway, when Carlisle disappeared, I was only twelve and I was scared. Nobody knew what happened to him, but rumors went around that he was touched by the devil and killed himself so that no one would know." All of a sudden, Carlisle's face lit up.

"Leena!"

"Carles! I knew you'd remember!" Eileen threw her arms around Carlisle's neck. He returned the embrace but pulled back almost instantly when Esme coughed loudly. He grabbed her shoulders and held her at arms length away from him.

"You grew."

"I wasn't changed until ten years after you. It was my twenty-second birthday and I had just moved to Italy when I met the Volturi. I saw them and because of what you and your father taught, I could tell that they were vampires. I tried to ward them off with the cross and the garlic and it didn't exactly work. They changed me and I ran away." I started zoning out and daydreaming of what it would be like when I met Jacob again.

_Jacob, where are you? _I almost started listening to Eileen again when a huge mahogany wolf with familiar black eyes leaped from between the trees. It took a look at the group and its eyes stopped on Eileen and on Marcellius who Emmett was now restraining from attacking Carlisle for hugging Eileen, and growled. As it took a step forward, it pulled its leg back up and whimpered.

"Idiot," Dad mumbled, hitting the wolf on the nose. "Can't you see what you've put her through?"

"Don't make it mad, Dad." The wolf turned to me, careful not to step on the hurt leg, and stared at me with huge pleading eyes.

"Look at him, I shouldn't have to tell you this."

The wolf's eyes bore into mine and shone with adoration and loyalty. He nuzzled my chin gently and licked my face. I was still confused.

"You stupid, stupid, dog!" Mom yelled. She appeared at my side with inhuman speed and started pounding the wolf's side. With every hit, he whimpered and winced, but the wolf took it without moving. It was when we heard the crack of a breaking bone that the wolf howled and Mom stopped attacking it. "She called us every five minutes asking if we'd found you yet. She was worried sick! From what Alice and Rosalie told me, when we found out that you went AWOL, she collapsed! They also told me that she didn't sleep, didn't eat unless she made the food herself and she only cooked when she wasn't in her room crying, freaking out and calling us when Cassadee was hungry and she only ate a few bites at that! Any other time that Cassadee was hungry, Alice or Rosalie or, heaven forbid it, Jasper had to make her food, which normally ended up with the kitchen being destroyed and Cassadee having ice cream straight from the container or chocolate or something else unhealthy straight from the package for dinner! You going missing hasn't just affected us or you, but Renesmee and Cassadee, too!"

I was dumbstruck. I didn't realize that Cassadee wasn't getting a good dinner. Was I a bad mom for that?

"You're not a bad mother," Mom assured me. "HE's just a horrible father." Everything started sinking in. Alice and Rosalie telling Mom that I had collapsed, me not eating or sleeping or taking care of Cassadee, me calling every five minutes, and the wolf being a horrible father.

"Jacob." The wolf looked around again and started shaking. As he took a step backwards and winced again, I stepped forward, tangled my fingers in his fur and held him close. "Don't go again. It hurts, doesn't it?" I asked fingering his front paw. "You shouldn't be walking."

"We'll leave," Dad said, answering an unspoken question. He herded the rest of the family away so that Jacob could phase in peace. "Come here, Renesmee."

"No. I'm not coming, I'm staying here with Jacob." Dad didn't answer, but I heard the light crunch of his first footstep away from us. "Eileen, you have to go. Jake won't want you here when he phases back and I have a feeling you don't want to see him naked."

"And you do?"

"Is there a problem with that? I've known Jacob my whole life and I've missed him this past week." Eileen sat there just staring at us for a few moments but soon retreated to where the rest of the family was.

"They're all gone." I pulled myself even closer to Jacob and fell when he laid down on the ground.

"Nice one Jake." I wrapped my arms as far around him as I could and curled up by his side. I felt his body becoming less and less furry and much, much smaller. My arms went almost all the way around his waist and his body heat seeped through my clothes. His lips were centimeters away from mine and I couldn't help but close the gap.

"It's really you," he gasped when we finally broke the kiss to get oxygen.

"Yes it's me, who else would it be?" I joked

"I thought I was going crazy. I kept hearing your voice in my head."

"I was calling for you. I needed you so bad. Everything that Mom said was true."

"I'm so sorry. Um, can you help me get my pants on?"

I giggled. "Why should I? We need to make up."

"Not right now. Please help me get my pants on."

"Of course." I untied the shorts from his ankle and slid them up to his waist, where there were ugly black bruises and crusty blood. "CARLISLE!!!"

He was in front of us in a second, but not before Dad stepped between me and Jacob.

"If you've hurt my daughter at all, if you've done anything else to upset her, I swear, I will not hesitate to permanently cripple you. I would kill you, but Renesmee would never forgive me."

"DAD!"

"What happened?" Carlisle asked quickly, cutting our argument short.

"I was really, really stupid. I was running down that back road to get home and this huge truck hit me. I think it broke my arm and legs and maybe my ribs, but one of the broken ribs was Bella's doing. Then a hunter managed to hit me in the shoulder."

"Don't you ever say that you're stupid ever again. You're my Jacob and you're not stupid."

"These were nasty breaks," Carlisle interrupted again. "I'll have to re-break the bones so that they can heal. If I don't get it exactly right, you may never use that arm again. I also have to get that bullet out of your shoulder. I have to get you back home so that I can remove the bullet and it would be easier to break your arm again if I can open it up and actually cut through the bone. Either way, it'll hurt like mad but we'll have morphine at home."

"Well, Dr. Fang, you aren't giving me a choice. I'll have to go with surgery at home." He grimaced at the idea of a vampire opening him up and then fixing him.

"I'll be right there with you the whole time," I assured him.

"Aw, thanks, Honey." We heard a tree being uprooted, then another and another. When the trees closest to us was lifted into the air, a path had been forged through the forest. Eileen stomped down it, her hand raised in the air. She flicked it sideways and the trees flew to the side, landing simultaneously with an ground-shaking tremor.

"Are you doing that?" I asked. "And the rocks earlier. That was you!"

"Have they told you yet?" Eileen demanded. "Have they told you?" She grabbed my shoulders and shook me violently. I slapped her as hard as I could.

"Stop it! Told me what?"

"You and Jacob, you didn't tell me that Jacob was the person you were looking for."

"I told you that I was looking for my husband and that's Jake. What about telling me something?"

"They didn't tell you. It's about Jacob. They kept the secret from you. What were you thinking?" She shrieked, letting go of me and picking Dad and Jacob up by their shirt and hair.

"Let go of them! Just tell me what they kept from me and get it over with."

"Eileen," Dad choked, "don't tell her. I would have told her the day before her wedding but she and Jacob ran off to Vegas to get married. Broke Alice's heart. We haven't told her yet but this isn't how she should find out. Give us a chance to tell her ourselves."

"Ha, like you'd tell her. You've had fourteen years, Edward, and you still haven't told her. You have ten seconds to tell her or I will give her the cold, hard facts."

"Tell me, Jake, just tell me," I begged. "If it's about you, you should be the one to tell me."

"When your parents had that 'relationship bump', your mom turned to me. I thought that I loved her. I- I'm ashamed of what I did."

"Are you saying that you might be my dad!" I exclaimed.

"No! No, no, no, there's no dispute about that. Edward's your father, its just-"

"Time's up. You want to know what happened, I'll tell you what happened. Jacob loved your mother. Renesmee, Jacob made out with your mom. Twice."

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**A/N**

**Can we try for five reviews for this chapter? I still need that beta. PM me if you want to be the Beta  
**


	5. Patrick

**A/N Hey everybody!!! I'm Typing this with one hand because my wrist is really hurting. I hope it isn't broken. I actually broke my ankle at a math competition so why not a wrist by picking up a twenty pound laptop? Yeah, my (dad's) laptop is really really heavy and I think it actually is about twenty pounds. **

**I have another story up. Its a oneshot. It's a twilight Hairspray crossover. lyrics to "Without Love" except its about Jacob and Renesmee. **

**I only have another two chapters written so far, but the story will go on at least another five or ten chapters. I haven't been getting very many reviews and I feel like nobody likes the story so I may give it up and just write it on my own. **

**I still need a beta.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Mailen1194 for being the most dedicated reader.  
**

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Ch. 6: Patrick

_Ch. 5 flashback: __"Time's up. You want to know what happened, I'll tell you what happened. Jacob loved your mother. Renesmee, Jacob made out with your mom. Twice."_

_"_No, they would've told me if that happened. I trust them."

"It's true Renesmee," Eileen told me. "I saw it. Jacob kissed her without permission."

"You didn't have to tell her that," Dad hissed. "It was fifteen years ago. There's nothing between them now."

"You would've told me, wouldn't you, Jake? You tell me everything and you didn't tell me anything about that and it didn't happen, did it?"

"Ummm, well,"

"You didn't. You wouldn't. I know that." Instead of responding, he seemed content with digging his toe into the soft dirt on the forest floor. "You did." I felt my eyes widen even more and tears threatened to spill over onto my dirty face.

"I...I..." he stuttered. As the tears drew lines down my cheeks, Jacob reached out to pull me into his arms but I flinched away, refusing to be anywhere near him until he explained. I half ran into Dad's chest so that he could hold me while Jacob spoke. "Your mom was my first kiss. But please, listen. I thought that I loved her. It was way before your parents were married. And she punched me in the face for it. It doesn't count." I still wasn't convinced. Jacob was my sunshine, my imprinter. I had always known that I hadn't been Jacob's first girlfriend or kiss, but what was I supposed to do when I found out that it was my mother?

"The second time." I demanded, letting tears fall freely down my face and drip on the dead leaves. "Tell me! I need to know!"

"I was going to kill myself. Your mother saved me with that kiss."

"I hate you," I lied, still wiping droplets of salty water from my cheeks. "Leave me alone."

"Renesmee," Jacob begged. "Please, please don't do this. It'll kill me to be away from you. It really will."

"Fantastic!" I growled. "That's what you wanted, wasn't it? Oh, and before you leave, are there any other relationships that I should know about? As your wife? As the mother of your child? As your imprint?"

"You know that I'd never cheat on you, Ness."

"Really, well, what about Mom, then? Am I a replacement for her?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You loved her. You admitted it. The fact that Mom kissed you willingly proves that she loved you. How do I know that I'm not just a replacement?"

"You aren't a replacement. If anything, Bella was a substitute for you before you were born."

"You never told me. I never kept anything from you. Ever. All of my little secrets. Whenever I told a little white lie. I even told you what your birthday present was the day I got it, just because you asked me to. I told you about your own surprise party. I thought that we had no secrets."

Dad removed his iron grasp on me and turned me around so that I was facing him. "You're overreacting again. What would you have done if Jacob, Bella and I had sat you down in the living room to tell you in person?"

"Go away, Dad. I need to talk to Jacob alone for a minute, or at least feel like I'm talking to him alone." He lifted a crying Mom in his arms and let her sob into his chest while he led the rest of the family out. "I trusted you. Don't interrupt me. I need to say this. I love you. I really do. I know that you imprinted on me. And I know that you love me. But I don't know if you only love me because you imprinted on me. I don't know if you still love Mom."

"But..."

"Cassadee needs her dad, but I just need you to leave us alone for a few days."

"You can't keep me from seeing Cass. She needs me. I need my little baby. Just like I need you." Everyone decided to return at that moment. I still didn't know what to do. I knew that I was acting as though I hated him, as though I wanted him to leave and never to see him again, but in all honesty, I had no idea.

As I looked over to everyone, trying to find some clue of what to do, I saw different expressions on everyone's faces. Mom still looked like she would be in tears if she could be and was trying to cover it up by hiding the bottom half of her face.

Dad still held her close to him and was glaring at Eileen who looked smug and slightly guilty, as though she had just told someone, "I told you so," about something that they didn't like.

Carlisle had just returned with Marcellius, neither knowing about what Jacob and I had been talking about.

Esme's face practically screamed, "I'm not gonna rule your life. This is your choice. You have to make this decision on your own. I'm sorry. Do what's right."

Emmett, a favorite of mine out of all of my aunts and uncles, my prank partner, stared at Jacob with a, "Dude, you did not say that right. You messed it up so bad. Everything you've said so far has sounded so wrong in so many ways."

And Jacob, my Jacob was just standing there with a pleading look on his face. I wanted nothing more than to run and just wrap my arms around him, have him forgive me. But I couldn't.

"I need you to go."

"I can't. I'm crippled." He was trying to get me to forgive him. I wasn't giving in.

"Emmett and Dad and Carlisle will help you get home." I almost started crying again, but blinked back the tears. "Carlisle, will you?" He nodded in reply. "Good. Emmett?"

"I'll help, sure."

"No, not that." His face crumpled in confusion before he saw my wet, glassy eyes.

"C'm'ere," Emmett mumbled, opening his arms invitingly and waving his hands gently. Out of the corner of my eye, I could just barely see Carlisle and Dad lifting Jacob up like a football player being helped off the field. I looked over at them and looked Jacob full in the face. He had a dejected look on his face, incredibly like a hurt puppy.

"She'll come around in a day or two," Dad whispered. "It'll be fine." I was surprised that Dad was comforting Jacob and that made me even more upset.

I threw myself into my uncle's arms and sobbed. "Don't worry, Ness. You aren't really gonna' give him up, are you?"

"I don't know. I really don't know what to do. What do I do?"

"You love him. He loves you. Even if you don't completely forgive eachother, he imprinted on you, and you won't last more than three days without each other. I hate him, but you and him belong together."

"Wow, Emmett," Mom joked, "you actually said something intelligent!"

"Shut up. You wanna sit here for a while longer, Ness? Rosalie can wait for me."

"Thanks, Em. You're the best." He held me to his chest in a way that was both brotherly and fatherly, making me feel safe and secure. Mom soon came to join him in hugging and rocking me, but Eileen kept her distance. Esme wrapped her arms around all three of us and soon, I wasn't the only one crying, though neither Mom nor Esme could let their tears fall freely and neither of their heart-wrenching sobs were released for having to send your other half away because you doubted them.

Their sobs were quieter and for a reason that pulled at my heartstrings even more, making my tremors more violent and saddening.

They were crying for me.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

About an hour after Carlisle had brought Jacob back to the house, Emmett passed me over to Mom and led Esme away, now that her sobbing was beginning to fade.

I had lost track of time when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket but I refused to pick it up. It was Jacob's personal ring-tone, one that he had recorded for me just for when he called. Mom slipped her hand into my pocket gently and made to flip open the phone.

"No!" I shouted, but it was too late. Jacob was already ranting.

"Thank goodness you picked up. Why didn't you tell me that Cassadee had passed out!"

"Shoot," I murmured.

"And Alice, Jasper and Blondie are freaking out 'cause they don't know where you are and I'm back here all busted up!" I could hear the grimace as he called Jasper by name. Alice he didn't mind, in fact, Mom, Carlisle, Esme and Alice were the four that got along with the wolves the best. Mom, Carlisle and Esme were to be expected because, one; Jacob was Mom's best friend, and apparently a bit more, two; Carlisle seems to see them as an experiment, just like my daughter and I were (something that I don't exactly appreciate) , and three; Esme just naturally likes everyone who isn't a foul, loathsome, evil, little cockroach. "Carlisle really wanted to take care of my broken bones, but I couldn't just leave Cassadee on out cold for reasons unknown to me. Why didn't you tell me that she'd found her gift? I can't believe it. Teleporting?" He half-whispered.

"Jacob!" Mom finally interrupted.

"Bells?"

"Yes, now why did you call?"

"I really needed to hear Renesmee's voice. There's just too much going on right now and I'm panicking. I was scared when I saw Cass unconscious on the bed. She wasn't in her toddler bed, she was in the spare bed. She never sleeps there. Not even when we're out on a hunting trip."

"Well, Renesmee can't talk right now. She's really upset."

"No, I can talk." I pried the phone out of Mom's unwilling fingers. "Why? Why'd you never tell me?"

"I wanted to. I really did. Like Edward said, I was going to tell you the day that we got officially engaged, so that you could make your choice knowing everything. But you took me to Vegas and we got married right away and there was no chance to tell you. You whisked me off to the honeymoon before I could say anything and... I really wanted to tell you."

"Not a good enough excuse," I stated plainly before snapping the phone shut, managing to crush it into an unrecognizable metal lump at the same time.

"This is my fault." I turned to Eileen, who spoke for the first time in over two hours. "I shouldn't have told you. This was between you and your family. I shouldn't have butted in."

"I would have found out some way or another. It doesn't matter. I don't blame you."

"But if you had found out from your family, you may have actually laughed it off instead of being mad. It would've been different."

I didn't think it over. "No it wouldn't have. I would've been mad if only because they hadn't told me in the fourteen years that I've lived. I would have been just as mad."

"I guess." We all stayed silent for a while before Eileen blurted, "What's your daughter like?"

"What?"

"Y-your daughter." It was interesting to see a flustered vampire- none of my family was embarrassed easily enough for Emmett's jokes to actually cause them to stutter, excepting Mom of course, and Emmett wasn't allowed to tease her. "What's your daughter like?"

"Cassadee? I am _not_ going to tell you anything about her. We've been able to keep her from the Volturi so far and I don't want to risk it."

"Nessie, she already knows you have a daughter. It can't hurt to tell her more." Mom was trying to get on her good side, but her eyes begged, _Please, please don't tell anything that that could cause any problems for us. Jacob said something about teleporting. Don't say anything about it. I don't think she heard. _Or maybe I was imagining she was trying to tell me that. I was going to take the warning anyway.

"Cassadee is a beautiful girl," I sighed. "She's only three months old right now, but she looks about two. Do you want to see her?"

"Of course! I'd love to see her."

"You do realize that once she shows you what Cassadee looks like, we won't be able to let you go back the the Volturi, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. I'll have to go back to resign, but I won't let Aro know about Cassadee." She closed her eyes and I followed suit, resting my hand on her cheek. I remembered Cassadee's face quite clearly. I imagined the ever so slightly chubby cheeks set high on her wide, round face. I thought of her huge, bright, almond-shaped, jade eyes; full, pink-red lips and button nose. Her dark hair was let down in curly waves, framing her face and neck but going no further than her shoulders. I thought back to the the day that Cassadee had worn the violet summer dress with bright yellow flowers that brought out the color of her eyes and showed her. Every other moment that I had spent with Cassadee ran through my mind.

"Stop!" Eileen gasped. "Enough. I know what she looks like. I don't need to know any more." She heaved unnecessary breaths, trying to steady herself after the onslaught of memories.

"Is there anything else that you want to ask me about?"

"What is she? Is she human? Vampire? Half vampire?"

"We think that she's half human, part vampire and part shapeshifter. Please don't ask about that, we have no idea really. She doesn't have venom, or at least not any that hurts Jacob when she bites him, it's a game they play but she knows that she's not supposed to bite humans, and normally werewolves are killed by vampire venom and she really isn't a threat to society. She grows faster than a human but not as fast as I did."

"Anyway," Mom cut in, "do you want to go home now? Jacob said that the rest of the family was getting worried. I'm not surprised that they're nervous if you only said you were going hunting."

"I guess so. I'm just not sure if I can face Jacob right now."

"C'mon, Nessie. We're going home." Mom straightened up. "Eileen, can you get to Italy to make the Volturi aware of your resignation? You can join our family when you're finished."

"Can I bring Joshua? Please? He.. um- I- he's really important to me," she struggled for words.

"He's her boyfriend," I stated.

"More than that. I love him so much more than words can say."

"He can come," Mom told her. "We all know what that's like. Carlisle and Esme, me and Edward, Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, and Renesmee and Jacob." My stomach twisted and my heart clenched again. I lost my newly gained composure and dropped back down to my knees, clutching my chest and twisting my shirt in my fist, while wrapping my free arm tight around my stomach and squeezing my eyes shut. "Nessie? Renesmee?"

"I'm fine. I'll be fine," I gasped.

"No. No you won't. You're trying to hide it. I know how you feel. I've felt it too. Tell me. Tell me everything. Eileen's already left. You can tell me anything, I'm your mom."

"No, I can't. You can't have felt like this. I don't want to talk about it, not right now, and especially not with you. Back off." I practically leapt up and started running home. Mom caught up with me easily and I could see the venom pooling up in her eyes, threatening to spill over in tears that would never come.

Mom was mortified by my reaction and I was too upset to even care. If she was my husband's first kiss, and they hadn't told me even after we had a daughter, I wasn't sure if I wanted them as my mom or husband, but it was already apparent that Jacob was too much a part of me to let go of permanently and I just couldn't bring myself to call her Bella.

Mom and I both made it home, I almost in tears, and Mom shaking with silent sobs. Mom ran straight into Dad's arms as soon as we got home and from Dad's expression, I could tell that Mom had lowered her shield and relayed to him everything that had occurred since he left for home. Everyone was with their significant other; Rosalie curled up in Emmett's lap, snuggled up close to him, Esme and Carlisle enjoying being back at home with the rest of the family, and Dad comforting Mom in the door way. The only three who weren't here were Alice, Jasper, and Cassadee. I had no one to go to now unless Jacob was here and I wasn't sure if I could face him.

"Nessie," Alice crooned, enveloping me in a hug, "I'm so sorry. They told me the whole thing."

"I would've found out. It woudn't've been any different. I just can't believe that you never told me."

"I wanted to," a husky voice insisted. I snapped my head over to see Jacob limping down the stairs, the scars from his surgery almost completely faded while Cassadee trailed close behind him, her eyes bloodshot and puffy. "Bella was afraid about how you'd react. I was going to tell you before I proposed to you, but you whisked me off to Vegas."

"I told you to go away," I squeaked, trying to keep myself from hurling myself into his chest. "I told you to go away."

"Doc won't let me leave yet. He says that my bones need a few hours to heal and that I can't work too hard. He also won't let me phase yet, but another ten minutes and I'm gonna snap! I can't stand not knowing what's going on with the pack! I also need to catch up with my little Cassadee here, I haven't seen her in a week."

This only made my voice raise another octave. "Please. Jacob, please, don't do this to me. You- Mom- me- please. Just,"

"Renesmee," Jacob begged, "Please, you know that I love you. I imprinted on you. There's nothing going on between me and Bella. You have to trust me. You're the only girl for me. You know that."

"I cant. You loved her. You kissed her. I don't know anymore." I fought back tears. I couldn't let him know how hard this was for me. I didn't even want him to leave, but I needed at least a few hours to myself so that I could think and I couldn't do that if I knew that Jacob was waiting for me at home. "Like I said before, for all I know, I'm just a replacement. For all I know, Momma was your first choice, but when she chose Dad, you decided that I was good enough for you."

"Like _I_ said before, that isn't how it was. It was more like Bella was a replacement until you came along."

"Come with me, sweetie."

"Daddy's home! Why are we going? Where are we going?"

"I know he's home. I see him. I know Daddy's home, but he's going to spend a little while longer away. He'll come back really soon. But Mommy and Daddy need some time away from each other." My stomach knotted itself as I said this, but I managed to avoid doubling over.

"Away?"

"Yes, Cassadee, away. Not right now. Tell Daddy you love him," I demanded. Jacob stepped forward normally- sometime during the past two minutes, his limp had healed up- and pulled me and Cassadee into his warm arms.

"Please," he mumbled into my hair, "don't make me go away. I imprinted on you. Imprinting is forever."

"I'm sorry. I made my choice." I closed my eyes and held them shut, but a trickle of warm, salty water still spilled out of the corners. _Even if I don't like it._ I heard the rustle of fabric as Dad winced.

"So you're just going to throw me out on the streets? Like a stray dog?" I smiled at his comparison but nodded slowly into his chest.

"You'll find someone who'll let you into their house."

"I love you so much," Jacob whimpered. "It's gonna suck living without you. When I didn't answer, Jacob nuzzled the top of my head, making me look up at him. He bent down to kiss the tip of my nose. He pulled away and tilted my head even more, leaning down once again. I almost succumbed to the option of forgiving him then and there, just as long as I got his kiss when Cassadee wailed.

"EEEEEWWWW!" She wrinkled her nose and furrowed her brow. "Daddy, do you have to leave right now?"

Jacob hesitated for a moment before answering. "I have to get the a-okay from Carlisle. I don't want to, but I have to. I'll- Just a sec." Jacob slid his tiny phone open. "Hey, Paul, what's up?" he asked, sliding Cassadee into my arms. I positioned her comfortably on my hip and listened to Jacob's end of the conversation. "What? No- oh, man- Dude, I'll be over in ten. See ya."

"What's going on?" I asked, sliding Cassadee to my other side. Jacob shook his head.

"I don't know when I'll see you again," he mumbled. He plucked Cassadee from my arms and passed her on to Alice. "This is goodbye for now. I'm going to be gone a while."

I felt Jacob's warm arm wrapped around my waist and faintly heard a door open and close as the family retreated from the room. Jacob stared lovingly into my eyes and pulled me close to him. His lips crashed into mine and I melted in his arms. I slid my hands up his back and tangled them into his shaggy hair. Jacob crushed me into his chest into a bone-crunching embrace that just had me deepen the kiss; my fingers roamed up and down his perfectly muscled chest and I wrapped my leg around his waist. His hands slid up my shirt and down to my thighs, squeezing them.

My eyes snapped open and I pushed Jacob away. "Stop," I gasped. "No. You said you needed to go." Dad slammed the door open, pinching the bridge of his nose. I was still shaking in a desperate attempt to compose myself. I flattened my shirt, patted my hair back down, and readjusted my sandal. Jacob's eyes suddenly became sad and his face dropped. Dad clapped his hand on Jacob's shoulder.

"Go."

"Love you," he mumbled. Jacob ran out the door and gracefully erupted out of his skin into the body of a wolf.

"What happened? Why'd Daddy just go running?" Cassadee asked, returning to the living room again. She'd grown in the past week. Her hair was almost half an inch longer, and her face has a slightly less babyish look to it.

"Dad?" I asked.

"Edward, Honey, we don't all know why Jake ran out. What's going on?"

"Rachel and Paul's oldest son, Patrick. He was coming back from the movies with one of his friends and his friend's family and a drunk man was driving on the wrong side of the road. There was no chance for them to get out of the way."

"Oh no," I cried. Patrick was only about two years younger than me. He had always been one of my favorite nephews and had taken to Cassadee right away. "Rach must be crushed."

"She is, and so is Paul. Rebecca's already over there comforting Rachel, and Paul's trying to be strong for the both of them, and he's overwhelmed. Rachel and Paul both want Jacob over there with them."

"Poor Jacob. This must be so hard on him," Mom mumbled. "And if Paul's phased..."

"At least the mutt has somewhere to stay the night," Rosalie grumbled.

I was an inch away from snapping, but somehow managed to keep my head by silently spelling _Triscadecaphobia, antidesestablishmentarianism, _and _supercalifragilisticexpialidocius_ in my head. "Mom, I think that it's time for bed for me and Cass. It's been a long day."

"Of course, Nessie. You two must be exhausted, it's past ten. Do you want to sleep here tonight?"

"Yeah, I do. It just feels weird to stay there without Jacob."

"Go upstairs. You know where the spare room is. Should I go get a change of clothes for you for tomorrow?" Alice half-begged.

"Erm, could you take Mom with you? I don't trust you to pick out something that I'll approve of." I normally trust Alice, but clothes are one thing that I choose for myself and I don't trust her with any of my wardrobe. "Oh, and Mom has to give the A-Okay before you bring it for me. We're going to bed." I knelt down in front of Cassadee and picked her up. She laid her sleepy head on my shoulder and I slowly climbed the stairs up to the guest room.

I gently placed Cassadee in the spare bed, the same place that Rosalie had laid her down earlier today, and kissed her goodnight. I reluctantly left the room. The last time that I left her for a nap alone, she'd managed to blink out of existence and reappear, only to knock over everything in the room and scare me half to death. I made my way to the spare room right next door, burrowed my face in the pillow and screamed.

Dad slipped through the half-open door. "Is everything okay?"

_Yes,_ I thought, _it's just that so much has happened today. It's just overwhelming._

"I'll leave you alone."

_Don't you dare listen to my thoughts, old man._

"I'm not that old. If anything, I look younger than you."

I rolled my eyes. _Go away. I need to think._ Dad turned and escaped from the room before I could insult him any more. My mind raced again. So many things had happened to me this past week. First, Jacob had gotten lost. Then, I'd broken down because of grilled cheese sandwiches. When I finally had gone to find Jacob, I met the coven that Alice saw in her vision and their leader, Eileen, had told me about Mom and Jacob; a secret that my family had kept from me for 14 years. We found out that my nephew and Cassadee's favorite cousin, Patrick, had been killed in a car crash and Jacob had to go for the funeral.

I ended up crying myself to sleep.

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**A/N So will someone review? Lets go for seven before the next update. I accept anonymous reviews so anyone can review. I'll most likely reply to your review unless you review anonymously or ask me not to. I'm a chatterbox.**

**I have a poll up so go check it out.**

**TLMA 3  
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	6. Shopping with Holly

**A/N Sorry, I broke the promise. This is chapter six. As you can tell. I'm not gonna ramble on and on, lets just say that over the past two weeks, we had a lot of technical difficulties. two broken power supplies, two hours of typing lost, found and rewritten, one POP and a blue spark, and another new power supply later, I have FINALLY put this chapter up.**

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"Wake up!" Alice commanded. I tumbled out of bed. "Why are you still asleep?"

"Because," I grumbled, "I actually have to sleep, unlike you." Of everything that was different about me, Jacob and Cassadee, the one thing that Alice absolutely refused to understand was why we need to sleep. Even though she was human once, she didn't remember anything about her past life, and had always been frustrated when one of us was sleeping.

"Well, Cassadee's already awake and you need to get dressed. I found the perfect outfit!" I opened one eye to peek at the clothes that I knew she would be holding up for me and shut it tight again. In one of her hands was a bright red, ever so slightly see-through, long sleeved shirt. Or at least, it had one sleeve. My left arm would be completely completely covered, but the shirt wouldn't even come down to my navel. The neckline didn't even come back up on the right hand side, and tucked neatly under my arm. I didn't even want to think about the skirt she had picked out for me. It was a scrap of denim that would barely cover me up. It left nothing to the imagination and neither I, Dad, or Jacob would like that.

"Alice..."

"Don't worry, baby," Mom crooned, "I knew you'd hate it so I picked something else up for you." What Mom held was much more acceptable. I slid on the boot cut jeans, which, to my despair and Alice's surprise, had a slit up outside seam almost all the way up to my hip.

"Mo-om!" I whimpered.

"It's better than the mini," she reminded me gently. I held my hand out for the t-shirt that Mom had inevitably brought but instead was given Alice's red shirt. "Sorry, she burned your t-shirts."

"Get out," I demanded. "Alice, you can never pick out my clothes again."

Once they left the room, I flopped back down on my bed. Christmas was tomorrow and Jacob would be coming back for Cassadee's first Christmas. Like Mom had done for me, I wanted Cassadee to at least have some normality in her life. This meant that Jacob needed to be here. I still needed to get a present for Cassadee. Thank goodness it was Winter break.

"Renesmee, Holly's here!" I sat up straight right away, hearing that my best-and only- friend was here to see me. I was still overwhelmed by everything that had happened the past week, but I wiped my eyes clean.

"I'll be down in a minute!" I walked into the bathroom to find my make-up all set up on the counter. _I thought you'd need this__. Alice 3 _It was times like these that I wondered if Alice actually could see me in her visions.

"No," Dad whispered, now in my room, "she can't see you. She just saw that if she didn't set these up for you, all of her make up would be half-gone." I blushed profusely at this statement. In my fourteen years, I'd never gotten the hang of using a mascara brush or lipstick or eyeshadow. "Alice is coming up to help you with your make up."

I groaned. "Why do I even need makeup? You always say that I look better without it!"

"Because," Alice explained, "Holly's bringing you to the mall and everyone in town knows that the Cullens have good style. You can't ruin that reputation."

"Fine, just make it fast. I need to get downstairs to Holly."

"Okay," she grumbled. With her superhuman speed, she had me all dolled up in about thirty seconds.

"Why can't you just do that every time? You spend _hours_ getting me ready when you could just whip up a style in seconds!"

"Your face is like a blank canvas. I need time to make my masterpiece perfect. And it only lasts a few hours so I have to enjoy it while I can. And it's also about girl bonding time! Cassadee likes it."

"I suppose when you put it that way..."

"Goody! Here, take this. I have a feeling that you'll need it for Cassadee's present. I don't know what it'll be, so just think of this as your allowance." Alice shoved a mysterious, black credit card into my hand. Stupid pixie. She knew that I'd never spend any money that I hadn't earned. I got that from my mom.

"Thanks, Alice."

"Are you ready yet, Rey?" Holly's loud, strong, yet somehow tinkling voice wafted up the stairs.

"You wouldn't be so impatient if it was you that Alice was torturing with a makeover!"

"I feel for you. Come on! We need to go Christmas shopping, have you gotten anything for your family yet?"

"Not yet, I'll be right down." I scampered down the stairs and to the front door. "I'm ready to go."

"No coat? It's freezing out there." I saw the truth of her words. Out the window, snowflakes fell in little clumps, too much like cotton balls and nothing like the flakes you see in the movies. Holly's nose was brighter than a cherry and her aquamarine eyes were watery from the cold wind. I saw Alice cringe when she saw the pea green, hooded jacket and old, grey sweatpants Holly was wearing.

"Right. Alice put my outfit together. Do you have a sweater for me, Alice?"

"You bet I do!" she squealed. Alice held out a black leather jacket for me to put on over my outfit.

"Thanks, Ali, you're a life saver. Let's go, Lee-Lee." She pulled the hood of her jacket all the way down to her eyebrows, covering her blond, almost-white, bobbed hair. "Shotgun!"

"Fine, I'll drive." She pulled the keys to her old, blue, Honda Civic Hatchback and pulled me by the hand to the passenger side door. "So what are you getting for Cassadee?" I hadn't thought about this yet. I pondered the question as the monstrously loud engine started up and Dad, Rosalie, and Emmett cringed.

"I was thinking maybe a necklace or bracelet. Wait!" I exclaimed, making Holly jump out of her seat. "What if I got her a locket on a bracelet! My family got me a locket for my first Christmas and- and- J- J-" I wanted to tell her that Jacob had gotten Mom a charm bracelet, but couldn't. "And Bella got a bracelet for a present a few years ago. It was one of her favorite presents."

"That's a great idea! C'mon, we'll go to the jewelry store first." Sure enough, we were at the mall already, surprising considering how painfully slowly Holly would always drive. I could walk faster than she would drive.

"How fast did you drive?" I asked incredulously. "The mall is not that close."

"Eighty or ninety MPH," she admitted.

"Cool! You're finally driving fast enough for me."

"I _am_ excited. I can't wait!" We pulled each other in two different directions. "The jewelry store is this way. It's where Mom always goes when she needs a new necklace. They have really good deals."

"But Alice's favorite store is this way," I explained. "Just telling them my last name will give us access to the back, where the newest stuff is, the stuff that the general public doesn't even know about."

"There's no way we can afford anything over there. I only have fifty dollars for my whole family, and most of that is going to my little brothers and sisters." Holly had twin younger brothers, age four and two more sisters, eight and twelve.

"Don't worry. Alice sneaked me one of the family credit cards. Carlisle won't mind. He'll think Alice went on another shopping spree." We burst into giggles, probably looking completely crazy to the outside world.

"Your family is awesome. There is no way my parents would let me steal a credit card."

"Here we are!" I tugged her hand to get her to walk inside. Jeeze, it was like she'd never been in an expensive jewelry store. Well, she probably hadn't. At least not with Alice. "Come. On. It's no big deal, I've been here before. They know my family. It's fine." She tiptoed in next to me.

"Hello, Ma'am, Ma'am," the manager said, nodding to each of us in turn. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Yes, sir, I'm looking for a present for my-" I struggled for a word that would seem inconspicuous, "- younger sister. I believe that you know my older sister, Alice Cullen?"

"Of- of course. Is there anything in particular you were looking for? We have more in the back room if you don't see what you want here."

"Thank you very much! I was hoping to find an Italian charm bracelet. Money's no object. I also wanted to get a charm to go with it that had a locket hanging from it. You know, where there's that loop actually attached to the charm with the locket, preferably a heart-shaped locket, somewhat like this one?" I pulled the chain holding my locket from inside my shirt and let the manager see it. "Oh! I also want to have some charms with her birthstones. I'd like the bracelet and then some extra charms, one for each stone: Opal, Jasper-" I almost started giggling, "-Tourmaline, Aquamarine, Sapphire, Lapis Lazuli, Yellow Topaz, Amethyst, Garnet, and Ruby."

"I believe we have what you want in stock. If you'll follow me?" He looked at Holly skeptically.

"She's with me. Would you show us the way?" In the end, I went with a gold-plated bracelet, the ten charms, and a heart locket identical to mine but in white gold on a short chain on another charm, all gold-plated. For Mom, I got a book charm for her bracelet with a small diamond in the center. Rosalie was going to receive a pair of earrings in the shape of roses (Carlisle had pierced her ears- with his teeth might I add- as soon as earrings were popular) and Esme's gift was a simple locket, in which I would put a photo of the family. I wasn't sure that Alice would like anything there, so we ended up going elsewhere for other presents.

"Do you think Alice would like these shoes? I don't think she has them yet."

"They're five _hundred_ dollars! Can you afford that?"

"Holly," I said, clapping my hand on her shoulder, "when you live in my family, you learn that- well, I'm not sure what you learn, but I just spent more than that on Cassadee's present alone and that was the cheapest present I've gotten so far. I can afford it."

"Sure, then, get it. They'll make her taller." I heard the pain in her voice when she said "taller". Height and age had always been touchy subjects for Holly, especially since she was shorter than her twelve-year-old sister.

"Do you want a pair?"

"Oh no, I can't afford it." She was dead set against walking out the door with those shoes, but they would bring out the color in her eyes and it would make her so happy. I managed to slip a second pair in the basket without her noticing, and checked out.

This was a much-needed distraction. I was able to focus on what my family would like rather than everything that was happening in the family. Dad and Rosalie, in addition to her earrings, got a car maintenance handbook, even though they probably knew everything there is to know about cars. I finally decided on a football-player one-a-day calendar for Emmett, and the same thing for Esme, but for gardens. I had no idea what Carlisle would like, so I found a novel I'd never seen on his bookshelf, _Desir__é. _Jasper was also a tough gift choice, I figured he'd like a good puzzle and got a Rubik's cube and a puzzle book.

"So what're you getting for Jacob? You both have those promise rings, maybe you could do something to do with that?" If only she knew that those promise rings were actually wedding rings. "Maybe you can get him a new chain for his. His old one is looking kinda rusty." It took everything I had not to break down right there. My stomach clenched and to hide it I asked if I could go to the bathroom.

"Sure. Do you mind if I get a bite to eat at the food court?"

"Go ahead. Pick up some nuggets from McDonald's for me." I walked in the bathroom and washed my face off.

"Stop right there, young lady!" I slipped on a bit of water at the shout and shrieked.

"Alice! What are you doing here!"

"We decided to come check up on you and Edward heard Holly's thoughts. And you need new makeup."

"No, I don't, Alice. I'll be fine."

"Too late." I touched my cheek and felt the still-drying foundation with blush and eyeshadow on top."

"Alice," I growled warningly.

"Edward's out there talking with Holly. You may want to go stop him." I groaned, but decided to heed Alice's warning. My thoughts still on Jacob and keeping my tears from falling, I made my way to the food court, possibly a bit too fast to seem human.

"Nessie," Dad called quietly.

"Edward, I didn't think you'd be here," I exclaimed with mock surprise.

"Well, I need to get presents for the family just as much as you do. Have you gotten all of the gifts yet?"

"All but one." Dad cringed at my thoughts.

"I was talking to Edward, Rey, I mean, I've never really gotten to know your family." She leaned over the table to whisper, "Is there any way that he might leave his girlfriend for me and would you forgive me for dating him?"

I shook my head no. "I doubt it." We burst into giggles again, and Dad rolled his eyes. "Sorry, Eddie, but we've gotta go finish shopping. Places to go, things to buy."

"Can I come too?" Leave it to the shopaholic pixie to have a "Find Renesmee, Edward and Holly in the mall wherever they are" sense. Dad chuckled.

"I don't mind." Sure, fantastic. Holly wants the shopaholic pixie to come. I groaned and Dad started laughing again.

"Your face," he choked when he was breathing again. "Go ahead. Go get the presents."

"Who do you need to get presents for?" Alice asked once we were out of earshot- and out of mind-reading range- of Dad.

"I have all of the presents for my family, but Nessie still needs to get one for Jacob."

"How about a new chain for his ring?" It seemed like they were more enthusiastic about this than me. And that they were on the same wavelength.

"That's what I said!"

"Lets go to the jewelry store. My favorite jewelry store is..."

"Over that way! We already went there today, that's where Renesmee got Cassadee's gift. And almost everybody else. I did see a chain that the ring would fit on that would look good on Jake." We made our way back into the first store we had gone to today.

"H-he-hello, Ms. Cullen, Ms. Cullen, Ma'am. D-did you forget something earlier? Is there anything e-else I can help you with?" The same man from earlier was at the front desk.

"Hello, Lou, we're just looking for a present for my c-"

"Sis, can I tell him what I want?" I interrupted. Alice was going to blow my cover. "I'm sorry to bother you again, Lou, but my boyfriend and I have promise rings, that we'll get married someday, since I'm not old enough for him to formally propose to me, but we've been dating for years and we know that we want to get married someday-"

"Ness, you're babbling. Get to the point."

"Sorry, Ali. Anyway, my boyfriend wears his ring on a chain around his neck and the chain is getting old and I wanted to get a new one for him."

"We have every different kind of chain that you could imagine. Gold chains, silver chains, white-gold chains, anything."

"Nothing too flashy and can't break easily, but it has to say. . . I love you," I whispered. Alice stepped in for me.

"White-gold- plated, maybe? A nice, long, strong gold-plated chain."

Lou took five chains out from the glass shelf. The first was made of tiny links that I could break with my hands tied behind my back and a small, round, clasp. Another was made of long, rectangular links, and the third had round links, squashed on the ends so that it would lay flat. The next was a spiraling chain, stronger, but it looked too girlie. The pack would get endless laughs out of it.

The last was the most different, but it looked strongest. It had a pattern of three thick, round links and one longer, oval one, repeating all the way around. There was room for a tiny letter or shape in each oval, and the sign under it said that a message could be added. It was silvery-gold and looked long enough, and if it wasn't they could just add an extension. The clasp in the back would be easy enough for Jacob's large fingers to open and close, but not so bulky that everyone would notice it. My hands flew up to my face.

"It's perfect. It's perfect. That one. That one," I whispered, pointing a shaking finger at the last chain. "I want that one." Tears cascaded down my cheeks, dripping off my nose and chin. "It needs to be long."

"I'll pay for you, Sis. Edward took the Volvo home, so would you take her out to your car, Holly?"

"Sure. C'mon, Rey, let's go to the car now. We'll bring you home." I let her pry one of my hands from my face and my feet from the floor and walk me out to the car. She didn't bother trying to stop the tears that fell freely now. In the parking lot, she asked me, "Do you want to lay down? Would you rather sit in the front or the back?"

Wordlessly, I pulled the front passenger door open and sat down.

"What's wrong? Why'd you start crying?"

"I just didn't expect there to be a chain so perfect. Jacob's going to love it." _I want Jacob back,_ I added mentally.

"I'm back!" Alice cried, carrying a small, brown box. "Here's the chain. By the way, there was this really cute pair of shoes I was going to buy, but I had this feeling that I shouldn't and I figured I should really get back here with you. Can I drive?"

"Oh, sure, I guess."

"Thanks, I've always wanted to drive a-" she peeked at the insignia on the front and the nameplate on the back faster than a human would be able to tell, "Honda Civic Hatchback." Only I heard the cringe in her voice. "I wonder how fast it can go."

"I got it up to ninety this morning," Holly piped helpfully.

"Lets see if it can break a hundred. Don't worry," Alice added, seeing Holly's terrified face, "I won't crash the car. I just want to get Nessie home. Oh, Nessie, you know how you could put a message on the chain? Well, I got them to put, 'Your Loch Ness Monster'." Sometime during this speech, Alice had put the car into gear and flew off to the highway, going at least twenty over the speed limit.

"Why'd you do that?" Holly asked, getting red in the face.

"It's a family joke. When Renesmee met Jacob, he nicknamed her 'Nessie' and when Edward found out, he was ready to bite his head off." Not quite true. Not Dad, Mom.

"But it was Renesmee's present for Jacob."

"I don't mind. That's what I would've said. Alice knows me like the back of her hand." Holly huffed and crossed her arms, slumping down in her seat. I began projecting my thoughts to Alice, being careful that Holly didn't get caught in the backwash.

_You had a funny feeling when you saw the shoes?_

She nodded slightly. "Do you mind if I turn on the radio?"

"Go ahead, Rey." I poked the power button and changed the station to a music station.

_What do you think it was?_

"Not sure," she hissed, too fast and low for Holly to hear. "Maybe someone's getting them for me for Christmas. I'm trying to block my visions so my gifts don't get ruined."

_Did the shoes look like this?_ I imagined the six-inch stiletto heels with purple ribbons that would go around Alice's legs perfectly.

She nodded again.

_Do you mind if a gift gets ruined?_

She shook her head no.

_That's what I'm getting you. I bought a pair for you and a pair for Holly. Maybe your power's getting stronger, but instead of having all-out visions, you just get a feeling about stuff that's going to happen for me or the pack._

"Maybe." Alice became lost in thought, turning absently into our driveway and shutting off the car.

"Alice? We're here. Can I have my car back?"

"Sure, sure," Alice exclaimed, shaking her head to clear it. "Sorry." I let myself out of the car and pulled the house keys out to unlock the front door. Dad beat me to it.

He pulled me into a cold, but somehow at the same time warm, embrace as soon as he opened the door. I felt him nod at Holly as she started her car back up. At any other time, I wouldn't cry into my dad's chest in front of my best friend, but I needed a shoulder to cry on. I slid to my knees, which I had been doing so often lately that I had calluses on them, and Dad followed my example, pulling me closer. The brown box fell to the ground with a clatter and the chain fell out.

"I want Jacob back!" I sob-screamed, so fast that Holly couldn't understand, and almost too high for Dad to hear. I started pounding on Dad's chest with my fists, hurting myself much more than he would be hurt. "I need him back, I need Jacob." Dad picked me up like I was a baby, or a better analogy, the fragile human that Mom once was.

"The chain!" I gasped. "Get the chain!"

"Alice has it," he crooned. "Let me bring you inside. It's okay, baby girl." I let myself go limp in his arms, not caring about the warm blood that trickled freely down the inside of my wrist, staining Dad's nice shirt.

"Jasper, hold your breath, she's bleeding," I heard someone say. Someone else inhaled deeply before whispering, "I need to go hunt. I don't want to hurt her." Jasper sprinted away into the forest near our house.

"Renesmee, I need to bandage your hands," Carlisle explained. "It might sting a bit." The pain brought me back to my senses and I gasped at the sharpness of Carlisle's normally gentle touch. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "Calm down, the blood is soaking through the bandage." I took a deep breath and managed to lower my heartbeat from a mile a second down to a more normal pace- for me.

"Momma? Mommy?" I whimpered. Mom, Esme and Rosalie rushed over to me, rubbing my head, hands and feet with their cold hands. It was calming, but not enough. "I want Jacob," I bawled.

"It's okay, honey. Tomorrow's Christmas. Jacob will come."

"I miss him. You know that I need Jacob."

"I know exactly how you feel." Everyone but Mom and Dad left the room to give us our privacy while Mom tried to help me feel better.

"How would you know? I love him and he's _gone_! I don't know why I sent him away." I buried my face into my hands and Mom scooped me up into her lap.

"I _do_ know. Edward and I had a. . . relationship bump about a year before you were born and Edward wouldn't be anywhere near me." Dad stiffened slightly. "I know how you feel. You feel lost, alone. You don't know what to do. You just want to crawl into bed and stay there until he comes back to hold you and you're willing to forgive anything and everything, just as long as he comes back."

"Yes," I breathed. "Exactly. I wish today was Christmas. Then he'd be here."

"I know, I know." Mom slipped a glance at Dad and he nodded ever so slightly. In less time than it takes to blink, his phone was at his ear.

"Hello?" a husky voice asked.

"Jacob-" I gasped- "-it's Edward. Y-"

"Edward, I was just about to call you. It's about tomorrow. I'm so, so, so sorry. Rachel and Rebecca and Paul still need me here. I can't leave them alone. I really want to come back and see Cassadee and I can't stand being away from Renesmee for one second longer than necessary, but I can't be home for Christmas. I'm sorry." I could tell that Jacob was crying while he spoke to Dad, but couldn't imaging his face wet with tears. The only time I'd ever seen him cry was the day that Cassadee was born and I was out of it myself, and was looking through happy tears.

"No," I whimpered. "Jacob, Jacob." It had only been one day and I was a total wreck.

"I understand, Jacob. We'll celebrate Christmas when you get back. I'm sure everyone will understand. Goodbye."

"NOOOOOO!" I wailed once he got off the phone. "I've seen him all of once in over a week and now I have to wait for an undefined amount of time to see him again! I can't believe it."

"Nessie?" Alice murmured. She held Cassadee, who had a box in her tiny hands. "We heard you. We thought you might want this. Cassadee opened the box clumsily with her chubby fingers and I saw the chain we bought earlier. Alice lifted it from the velvet cushion and showed me. The chain was beautiful but even stronger-looking here hanging from Alice's fingers.

"Your Loch Ness Monster," was spelled out in the longer links, as promised, and between each word was a heart. I pulled the bandage off my right hand and held it up wordlessly, requesting the chain. Alice pinched one end of it, gently lowering the other end of the chain into my palm. When she released the chain completely, I squeezed my hand into a tight fist.

"You're going to make your palm bleed again, you're holding it too tight," Dad cooed. I opened my fingers one by one and slipped the chain back into the box. The chain hadn't quite managed to draw blood again, but there was a deep indentation on my palm.

"I miss you, Jacob."

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**A/N I hadn't originally written this chapter, but I realized that I mentioned that it was winter break and over two weeks had passed in the story line, and I hadn't done anything about Christmas or Hanukkah or any other holiday. O_o whoops. Is it too over-the-top that Renesmee broke down crying?**

**Now, I'm not going to do updates based on review numbers, since I'm not getting many reviews, T_T , instead, I'll be updating when I can, but reviews make me type faster. I also have a review contest that I'm going to put on the end of each chapter. I can't remember where I got this from, but one of my favorite authors does this, and I want to see what happens when I do. So here's the question:**

**What is the weirdest Christmas/Haukkah/other winter holiday present that you have ever bought or received?**

**Please answer the question, and thanks for reading my A/N. **

**TLMA**


	7. The Real Story

**A/N Hey everybody out there in computer land! Sorry I haven't updated, but I started school on Monday and I'm in the IB program and I haven't had any chance to type or update until yesterday evening. So this is chapter 7. Also, I forgot to mention in the authors note, Jasper really is a stone and it is one of the many birthstones of October. Remember, Cassadee was born in October. They started school in the middle of the year. ;) **

**I hope you like this. I don't know why, but the song "I know Where I've Been" from the Hairspray soundtrack has been in my head this past week and it's kept my head in the story. Listen to it if you haven't already. It's good. Have fun reading this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I am not the all-powerful Stephenie Meyer.**

It had been over a week after Christmas and Jacob hadn't come back yet. School started up the Monday after Holly and I went shopping and all of my teachers found the difference in my general composure obvious. My Language Arts teacher, Miss Lyman, was one of the first to notice how I was acting and talk to me about it.

"Miss Cullen, I'd like to talk to you after class," she whispered to me the Friday after we got back.

"Yes, Ma'am, Mrs. Lyman." When the bell rang, she seemed worried that I would try to sneak out of the classroom, but I was more of a zombie than anything else, the lifelessness just barely keeping me from cracking in the middle of the day. I barely slept ten minutes each night, never ate, and gave as vague of an answer as I could, so that I could keep my mind empty. Any time I thought about anything, my mind would wander away from the subject and to Jacob, and I would get upset.

Every day for a week, I would pry my head away from my pillow- even if I hadn't slept- swallow a granola bar, and be carted to school by Jasper, Emmett, or Rosalie. I would meet Holly at the front gate like I had the first day only a week after Cassadee was born. We trudged through our classes together, and went home.

While I waited for Mrs. Lyman to finish straightening her papers, I thought back to the first day of school. Carlisle and Esme had driven us to school, since the latest prank war had left everyone elses cars totaled, so we'd had to bring Cassadee with us. People started spreading rumors (not to mention that they were true) that Cassadee was my daughter. Holly was the only one willing to even talk to me, even though I'd already told her the truth about Cassadee.

"Renesmee?" Mrs. Lyman asked, jerking me back to reality. "Have you heard anything that I've said so far?"

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I was distracted."

"That's part of the problem, Renesmee. You never pay attention during class any more. Your grade has dropped dramatically." Mrs. Lyman placed her hand gently on my shoulder to make sure I was listening. "You had an 'A' average last semester. You're failing the new quarter already. Is there anything going on at home that's I should know about?"

I wasn't quite sure how to answer this. If I said "yes" she would want to know what, but I couldn't tell her, but there needed to be an explanation for my grade.

"Let me rephrase that. Is something bothering you?"

"I need to get to my next class," I whispered, forgetting that she was only human. "I'm going to be late," I said louder.

"I'll write you a pass. We need to talk. I need to know if I can help. Please tell me what's wrong." I considered saying that nothing was wrong, but couldn't bring myself to do it.

"A lot is going on at home right now. There's a lot of tension and everyone's feeling it. It's just a bit hard to cope with."

"If you want to talk to anyone, I'm always here, and we have a guidance counselor and a therapist." The bell rang and the echo sounded in my ears. "Let me write a pass for you."

"I'm actually not feeling so well," I half-lied. "Could I call my parents to pick me up?"

"Of course. I'll send someone to bring your homework tonight." I called Carlisle from the room phone.

"I need to come home," I whimpered. "I can't make it through the day." Carlisle understood me.

"I can't pick you up, and Esme's busy. Have Emmett and Rosalie bring everyone home. We can't have everyone at school getting sick." I knew he was just trying to get the rest of the family to come with me.

"Thank you. Love ya'."

"Is there anyone in particular I should send with your homework?" Mrs. Lyman asked kindly once I was off the phone.

"Would you send Holly Duster tonight?"

"Sure. I'll have the office call for your family. Go to the front to wait for them." I nodded and left the room with my bag. Moments later, a woman called over the intercom, "Would the Cullens and the Brandons please come to the front office to meet your sister."

Dad found me sitting on a step in front of the school before anyone else. He knelt down in front of me and held my upper arms, possibly a bit harder than necessary. "Are you okay?"

"I just need to go home. Ow," I added. He pulled me into a bone-crushing embrace just as Mom and the rest of the family arrived.

"Oh, honey, it's okay. Emmett's signing us out now," she whispered. At that exact moment, Emmett burst out the door.

"Okay, everybody! Let's ditch!" I heard Rosalie smack Emmett's head and hiss, "Idiot. Look at them. Nessie's upset."

"Sorry, little prank buddy. Let's get home." Emmett patted me gently on the back and helped me up.

"I'll be fine. I just want to go home." We piled into Jasper's and Emmett's cars, me sitting between Mom and Dad in the back seat of Emmett's jeep, Emmett and Rosalie in the front seats, and everyone else in Jasper's car.

"Everything will be okay, baby girl. Jacob will come back soon. Cassadee's at home. We're going to see her now." Mom wrapped one arm around me and stroked my head gently. Even though she babied me like this often, I couldn't help but let my tears fall while in her arms.

Other than Mom's soft crooning, the ride was silent on the way home. I let her carry me upstairs and tuck me into bed. I let her tip the chicken soup into my mouth and down my throat, and to rock me until I stopped crying, and to put a cup of water and one of blood on my night table, in case I got thirsty, careful to avoid talking about Jacob.

When she left the room and thought I couldn't hear, I heard her whisper to Dad, "I don't know what to do. If I tell her it was my fault, she'll hate me forever. If I tell her another way, she'll never talk to Jacob again. No matter what I do, we'll all suffer." My stomach dropped to my toes and I couldn't hear the rest of the conversation.

I did hear a wolf howl mournfully way out to the west, then another only moments later, from the south. A second long, familiar, "AROOOOOOOO" from the first wolf resonated through the woods, returning the call. Two horse-sized wolves came running into the back yard and phased back into Seth and Leah. Alice was already outside with an outfit for each of them.

"You okay, Nessie?" Seth asked once they were upstairs.

"What do you think?" I grumbled. Seth should know how I feel, considering he and Jacob shared a mind.

"I guess that wasn't such a good question. Jacob isn't doing too well, either."

"Isn't doing too well?" Leah exclaimed. "He's awful right now! You should see him. He doesn't get out of bed or do anything. He's miserable."

"Then why doesn't he come back? I miss him."

"He's worried that you won't want him any more, after the whole Bella thing. He's worried that he's hurt you or that- that you'll hurt him," she whispered.

"Why wouldn't I want him?"

"I don't know why. He's confused. I guess he's blinded by his love for you."

"Okay, why don't you have a boyfriend yet?" I wondered indignantly. "What you said was too romantic. If you said stuff like that to any random boy on the street, he'd be following you around like a puppy dog!" She giggled, an odd sound to hear from Cassadee's ever-downcast almost-godmother. We had Leah as her godmother supposing Rosalie couldn't.

"Don't worry about it. I just haven't found anybody worth chasing yet. I'll send the message along to Mr. Crazy Alpha. Go to sleep, Li'l Sis. I'll have him eating out of your hand by morning."

I almost fell off my bed when Holly rang the doorbell.

"Hello, Holly. Are you here to see Renesmee? She's right upstairs. Try to avoid Esme." Eileen had answered the door and spoke with her sweetest voice.

"We gotta get outta' here Ness. We can't let your little friend see us." Seth ruffled my hair and leaped out the window.

"See you, Nessie. I'll let Jacob know." She gave me a quick hug and whispered, "Say 'hi' to Cass for me."

I got up to peek out the door. Eileen was clinging to Joshua and mussing his cropped black hair. As they turned around to look up the stairs, I caught a glance of his once-crimson eyes. We were all upset that they hadn't gone to resign from the Volturi, but they told us that they wanted to get their story straight. Carlisle had kept a cat fight between Mom and Dad, and Eileen and Joshua from occurring. Dad had shouted, "You may have just put our whole family in danger!" and Mom screamed that they should just leave and never bother our family again.

Eileen nodded her head at something Holly said I watched as she stumbled up the stairs and managed to crawl in bed just before she knocked quietly on the door.

"Renesmee? I brought your homework." Holly poked her head in my room. "Feeling any better?" I saw two tears roll down her cheeks from her round aquamarine eyes; I could tell they weren't from seeing me upset. Clumps of rain-soaked hair stuck to her face and dust from our driveway became mud. How had she gotten past Esme?

"Lee-Lee, what's wrong?" I asked wrapping my arm around her shoulders and wiping her face clean with my hanky.

"Is that blood?" Holly asked, her jaw dropping. She was staring at the cup on my night table.

"No, that's the medicine I have to take. It's a low power medicine so I have to take a lot of it for it to work and it's disgusting," I lied quickly.

"Right. You look dead. Rey, tell me what's up."

"I'm a suffer in silence girl. I have my family here and your family has something to do with this, doesn't it?"

"My mom hates me," she mumbled, wiping her eyes with her sweater's sleve balled up in her fist.

"Come on, why would she hate you."

"She thinks I'm lying to her. My parents got divorced when I was little. My dad got remarried last year to a lovely lady and Mom decided that if Dad had gotten over her, she could start dating again too. Today, when I dropped my stuff from school off, she told me she had gotten married to this horrible Kaden guy. They'd gone to Vegas a few months back and he got her drunk and brought her to this chapel where Elvis was the minister and she didn't know that she was married until this morning when she got the bill. He's horrible."

"How?" I tried uselessly to keep my voice from shaking.

"He hurts me. He hits me and hurts me and says that nobody wants me. He said that he'd hurt my brothers and sisters if I told anyone."

"Have you told your mom?"

She snorted. "Fat lotta' good that did. Mom laughed at me, saying that he was a lovely man who was just teasing me and that I was overreacting and lying, that all those injuries were accidents."

"I don't know what to say."

"You can't. You have a perfect family. Your family loves each other, even if Edward acting like your dad is a bit creepy. Your whole family was there for you last week when you broke down, Carlisle and Esme love you guys, and you have the perfect boyfriend. He even moved here when you did."

The scab on my knee got incredibly interesting.

"Spill." I sighed.

"Me and Jacob- we- we kinda got in a fight. We didn't have the chance to make up because his nephew was in a car crash and he had to go to the funeral and now he's afraid to see me."

"No wonder you're so upset. Is there any way I can help?"

"I can't exactly explain it. It's too confusing." She raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Try me." I started fidgeting again.

"Jacob loved Bella!" I blurted. I slapped my hands over my mouth. Holly patted my knee gently.

"They used to really like each other. They said that it never got serious, that it was two kisses, and that the circumstances were weird, but they never told me. Even Edward knew. But I didn't."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. But he's your other half, you're perfect for each other. It'll work out somehow."

"Thanks. I hope so. You're a great friend. I'll always be here for you. You're my best friend."

"Same here, Ness. If you ever feel like running away, you can come stay in my house." A pink blush stained her cheeks. "Speaking of running away, could I stay the night here?"

"It's fine with me, but I'll have to ask Carlisle and Esme. It's their house. I don't see why not, though." Well, there was one problem. She was a human in a house full of vampires. But Mom managed to survive almost two years with this same family.

"Thanks." We tiptoed down the stairs, but there was no way to get past Esme.

"Holly! It's wonderful to see you. Is everything okay? Your eyes are all red. What's wrong?"

"Ma," I interrupted, "can Holly stay the night?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't we let her stay? You're always welcome here."

"Mom, Holly's never slept over yet. She doesn't know the whole family," Dad pointed out.

"Where are our manners?" Esme asked. "Would everyone come down here? We need to introduce you to Holly."

"Oh, no, you don't need to do that. I'll be fine, really." Holly's face got a bright crimson and we heard Emmett's huge, booming laugh as he swung over the banister and off the stairs.

"Bella used to do that," Emmett shouted. "She would blush at everything, but that ended when we joined the family." Holly stared blankly at Emmett, turning three new shades of red. "I've never even seen that color on Bella!"

"Stop teasing her," Esme scolded.

"Yeah, Em," Mom said, gliding down the stairs. "Nobody needs _you_ to tease them." Mom turned around, hearing Alice squeal. Jasper had grabbed her by the waist and put her up on the hand rail, causing her to slide down right past Mom.

"Hi, I'm Alice, I know we're- wait, you already know me." Alice frowned and we all laughed. Jasper and Rosalie descended the stairs and went straight to Alice and Emmett, respectively. Alice was still pouting but became more and more content with each passing minute.

"Esme, darling, did you say that Holly was here? We haven't introduced her to the whole family yet, have we?" Carlisle came out of his office by the stairs and wrapped his arm around Esme's waist.

"Yes, and that's why everyone is here. Holly, Eileen is my ex-husband's niece, his sister's daughter, but she and her fiancée have nowhere to live until they're married, so they're staying here. Emmett, Bella, and Alice are my children from my first marriage. Emmett is seventeen and Bella and Alice are fifteen. We adopted them when they were five and seven. A few years later, I divorced my husband, then met Carlisle and we moved here last year."

"Wow," Holly whispered. "You adopted three little kids and you're letting Eileen stay? You must be Super Mom." Esme was beaming.

"Edward and Renesmee and Jasper and Rosalie are my children," Carlisle added. "My wife and I adopted Jasper and Rosalie when they were only babies and then surprised ourselves when we found out about Edward and Nessie. My wife died giving birth to Edward and Renesmee, which was why I continued my career as a doctor, so that no other family would have to suffer like mine did. I had a lot of help until Jasper and Rosalie were eleven, then they babysat Edward and Nessie. Soon after, I met Esme. Jasper and Rosalie are the same age as Emmett, and Edward and Renesmee are both fifteen."

I almost couldn't keep my face straight while Carlisle and Esme lied smoothly to Holly. The town was large enough that we were able to avoid school until this year, but we knew that skipping out of school for four years was too long for people to not notice. She always wondered why I looked so much like Mom and didn't quite believe us.

"You know," Holly said, pulling my head out of the clouds, "in any other family, I would be a bit weirded out with the dating thing, Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice, Bella and Edward, but it just seems like what's right. It seems normal."

"Well, I guess so. Holly, we've already had lunch-"

"Is that why you never eat at school?" Holly interrupted Esme.

"Yes, we like to eat as a family, but Renesmee hasn't eaten so would you like to join us? I made lasagna."

"Yes, thank you, Ms. Esme."

"Just Esme, Darling. Just Esme."

"Thank you, Esme." Holly started blushing a brilliant burgundy and let Esme lead her to the kitchen, where a half-eaten lasanga -probably the doing of Seth- was sitting on the stove top. "It smells fantastic. I love lasagna." Holly tilted her head back and took a deep breath through her nose. Her eyelids were fluttering and her blue eyes were rolled back. I started giggling. She looked exactly how Mom looked whenever Dad kissed her neck or bit her ear.

Whenever Holly was around, my worries and fears disappeared into the air, even thought we had so much hanging over our heads.

"Renesmee, shouldn't you be eating?" Holly asked.

"Yeah, I guess. I am a bit hungry."

"A bit?" Dad asked. "A _bit_?"

"Yeah, yeah, _Dad_." We all burst into uncontrollable giggles as Dad piled two plates high with the lasanga. He put the first plate down in front of Holly then turned to me and made a face. I managed to take in three bites before Dad interrupted me.

"Renesmee, can I talk to you?" I raised my eyebrows. "They'll take care of her. Don't worry. Just come upstairs. I need to talk to you."

I trudged up the stairs and plopped down onto my bed. "What do you want?"

"It's about Jacob and your mother."

"I've already forgiven them," I complained, pulling my knee's up to my chest.

"No you haven't," he insisted. "You may not realize it, but you have enough room in your head to think about more than one thing, even without noticing it. You're always wondering. You keep on asking yourself if Jacob really loves you. He really does. It makes me sick, but you are the only think he thinks of."

"Leah and Seth said that," I mumbled. I closed my eyes and felt the bed shake as Dad joined me.

"We all love you so much. There's no way that someone could _not_ love you. That includes Jacob." I didn't answer. I need to tell you what happened those sixteen years ago."

"When I first saw Bella," he began with a dreamy look on his face, "I almost killed her. I was going to kill her right there in the cafeteria, and again in Biology. I was scared to death. I ran away from my fears, from her scent, so I wouldn't hurt her." We both sighed.

"You've told me this already."

"Not the whole thing. I avoided her as much as I could. I told her we shouldn't be friends. It hurt me, but I followed her when I could. I was there when she was attacked in Port Angeles. Not long after that, I gave up. Bella figured out what we were and we started dating. Our first official date was to the baseball field." I winced, remembering my first ball game, where a baseball shattered the bones in my right hand and threw me backwards into a sharp rock, sending me home broken and bleeding. I hadn't played baseball since.

"Please don't think about that," Dad whispered. "Don't make me relive that. I'm never letting Cassadee play baseball. You girls always make it end up in disaster." I sent him a raised eyebrow.

"Always?"

"During the game, Alice stopped us. Three nomads came. James, Victoria and Laurant. They wanted to join, until the wind shifted and James smelled Bella. He started the hunt."

"We ran like cowards," Mom added. She was leaning against the doorway. "He tricked me into coming to him and bit me. Everyone came about then, and I can't exactly remember it all, it's faded. Something about Alice ripping his head off."

"But you were still human when I was born."

"Edward saved me by sucking the venom out of my system."

"It wasn't that easy, Love," Dad added. "And don't forget prom."

"Oh, God, no. Don't make me remember that," Mom moaned. "He made me go to prom with a broken leg!"

"What happened next," I demanded.

"Over the summer, Alice worked on getting on my Dad's good side and I got closer to the family. Alice threw me a huge party and I got a papercut on one of the presents. Jasper- he tried to drink my blood." I felt the blood retreat from my face.

"Edward left me. He said that he didn't love me. That's why I know how you feel. I felt the same way." Dad stood abruptly. He whispered, "I'm sorry," before flinging the door open and escaping the room.

"Umm...?"

"This is hard for him," Mom said, answering my unspoken question. "He feels guilty about my birthday. I had already forgiven it. I'd even let Alice off the hook for throwing the party. But when Edward left, I wondered what I'd done wrong. I was a zombie, just like you, until I saw Jacob again. I spent as much time as I could with him. Then he left me too.

"One night, he snuck into my window to talk to me. The next day, I figured out he was a werewolf. There had been a string of killings on the rez caused by Victoria that I thought were the packs fault. I'd confronted him about it and when he denied killing anyone, I started yelling at him until he explained himself. I forgave him.

"Then, a few weeks later, I decided to go cliff diving. Jacob had promised me, but never followed through. I'd done so many reckless things just to hear Edward's voice in my head, including learning to ride a motorcycle, and cracking my head open in the process. I thought I was crazy. One time, I went to our meadow alone, and Laurant was there. The wolves attacked and killed him, but I didn't know that Jake was one of the wolves. Anyway, when I jumped the cliff, my future disappeared. Alice couldn't see me and thought I'd died, but really, Jacob had saved me from drowning. Don't ever be as crazy as I was, by the way.

"Rosalie had told Edward I was dead and he went to the Volturi. Alice came to help Charlie through my 'death' and found me alive, but it was too late to call Edward. We had to go all the way to Italy so I could stop him. I made it just in time and he came home, but I was grounded for my three-day disappearance.

"Finally, Charlie let me go. He practically begged me to go see Jacob, but I had to sneak past Edward to do it. I owed Jacob my life more than once. Eventually they came to a compromise. Whenever Edward went hunting, I'd be allowed at Jake's house, so that the wolves could protect me from Victoria."

"Why did Victoria want to kill you," I asked in a small voice.

"We killed James. She figured that it was more appropriate to kill me than Edward since it was his family that killed James; I was Edward's mate and James was hers, so it made sense in her mind. Edward would rather I was with young wolves than alone with Victoria looking for me.

"During one of these visits, Jacob tried to save my life once again, by trying to get me to leave Edward. He knew that if I stayed with Edward, I'd have to be changed. He kissed me. I tried to get him off of me but he took it the wrong way. Then I didn't do anything. I didn't try to resist the kiss, I didn't try to push him away again, I didn't add anything to the kiss. He still wouldn't get off me until I punched him."

"You know, Love." I leaped at the sound of Dad's voice from the doorway. "It was rather funny. Although I wanted to kill Jacob." Emmett poked his head in the door.

"Fall down again, Bella?" he asked.

"No, Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face." We burst into giggles and I saw Emmett slip into the next room over and come out with Cassadee. I couldn't help but smile at his love for my daughter.

"The second time he kissed her was when we were about to fight Victoria's newborn army. Bella saved Jacob's life. She kept him from killing himself."

"He was going to commit suicide?" I blanched and emptied the feeble contents of my stomach into the trash can. Mom pulled my hair out of my face into a ponytail an rubbed my back.

"He was going to fight the newborns and let them killy him," she explained. Dad pulled a clean washcloth from under the sink in my bathroom, wetted it with cold water, and wiped my face clean.

There was one thing I didn't understand. "So you left Mom," Dad flinched, "she was almost killed by Laurant, you wouldn't let her see her best friend, and Emmett told me that you wanted Mom to _give me up_ and have Jacob's kids- ew. Mom, why did you forgive him?"

"Because," Dad explained, pulling Mom into his side, "she knew we belonged together. You be thankful she did or you wouldn't be here." He gave her a long, loving kiss. When he finally pulled away and Mom gave a girlish giggle.

"Eww! Get a room!" I joked, punching Dad gently on the shoulder.

"This is a room," he countered. We all shook with happy laughter, glad that I was cheerful, if only for a moment.

Eventually, our laughter quieted down and we heared everything going on downstairs.

A fork and knife clattering against Holly's plate.

A quiet gasp and then five others.

And a shriek that broke the silence afterwards.


	8. Seeing Red

**A/N I know this chapter is short and I haven't updated in... how long has it been now, three weeks? I have an excuse. I started high school a few weeks ago and I'm in the IB program, so I've been swamped. I'm pretty happy with this chapter. **

**I have three other stories up right now. One is a songfic to the tune of "Without Love" from Hairspray but it's Jacob and Renesmee singing. One is an all human fanfic. The last is an ultra random one that my friend rosytoes aka pointyears (I don't know what her account name is) and I made up. It makes fun of twilight but it's really funny. go read them. please. **

**I hope you like this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Well, I haven't been Stephenie Meyer for the past seven chapters so I don't think I'm the Fantastically AWESOME SM.  
**

* * *

"What the hell is going on!" Dad demanded. We bolted down the stairs at our inhuman speed.

"It burns," Holly shrieked, "It's burning me!" Tears streamed down her screwed up face and her leg was bleeding. Holly slipped from the chair, her own blood staining her shirt and hair red.

"What happened?" I asked. "What happened?" Jasper and Joshua snapped their heads up and glared at us with red-orange eyes. Jasper saw me and cringed into Alice's shoulder.

"It's burning. It burns. There's fire," Holly whimpered. Carlisle wrapped a tourniquet around her thigh to stop the bleeding.

"What happened!"

"Holly's knife slipped and it sliced her leg open. Alice and Eileen got Josh and Jazz off her before they could kill her," he explained.

"Save her! Can't you save her?"

"Make it stop," Holly blubbered.

"No, I can't." He spent a fraction of a second thinking before he continued. "Edward, get the morphine. If we hurry..."

"No!" Mom shouted. Everyone stared at her as though she were crazy. "Don't give her morphine. It doesn't help. It immobilized me, nothing else. I didn't want you to know I'd suffered. It just makes the change worse."

"KILL ME!"

"No, Lee Lee, I can't. I'm not going to do that to you. I'm sorry." Esme was on the floor, running her fingers through Holly's hair comfortingly.

"Nessie, come here." Dad picked me up from the floor by Holly's side and to the next room where Jasper was.

"I'm so sorry, Nessie," Jasper said.

"Why are you apologizing?" I asked blankly.

"Why? Why me? Why did this have to happen again? This is Bella's birthday all over." Jasper buried his face in my hands. Everything clicked.

"Get away from me!" I screamed.

"I'm so sorry. I really am," he begged.

"Is it _me_ that you hurt? No! Holly is _suffering_ because of you. She'll never be able to see her family, never have a normal life again!"

"I'm sorry," he muttered before retreating upstairs. I escaped from Dad's arms and went back to the kitchen, finding nothing but Alice and the smell of bleach.

"She's in your room. Jasper wants to help her," Alice told me. "He didn't want to hurt her. You should have seen him when I pulled him off her. He was disgusted with himself." I shrugged her arm off my shoulders.

"I'm going to Holly." I didn't ask. I just went right upstairs. Alice and Dad followed but Dad broke off to go to his room for reasons unknown to me. I was about to open me door when Cassadee materialized in front of me.

"What's happening, Momma? Why'd Uncle Em take me out of the kitchen? I wanted to see Miss Holly. Why's she sad?"

"There was an accident. Holly was hurt and now she's going to be a vampire. I have to go to her."

"Okay, Momma." I didn't wait before running into my room.

Holly looked horrible. Her short hair had become hopelessly tangled and blood-encrusted. Her face was still contorted with pain, but she wasn't screaming and I could tell she was concentrating hard. Emmett saw me come in the room and left his post standing uselessly in the corner to scoop Cassadee up behind me.

"I'm going to wash your hair," Rosalie said. "Is that okay?"

"Yes, yes, just make it stop."

I gasped. Holly was actually answering her question.

"Washing your hair won't make it stop, Holly, nothing can make it stop."

"Wash it! I feel dirty."

"Let me change your shirt for you," Alice pleaded. "It's all bloody."

"Sure, change my shirt. Please. I feel dirty."

"Can you understand us, Holly?" I asked.

"Of course I can."

"Are you okay?" My foot started shaking on its own accord.

"It hurts..." she paused. "A lot. It hurts a whole lot, but I can deal." I looked at Jasper.

"I'm not doing this," he told me. "It's all her. She's suffering but she won't give in."

"The water feels good," she mentioned, gesturing absentmindedly towards Rosalie. "Is someone downstairs?"

I paused for a moment and listened. There was a knock at the door and Dad ran down the stairs to open the door.

"Good, you're here." Who would be here and why would Dad be glad to see him or her? I couldn't quite place the next voice, but I could tell it was someone I knew.

"Why'd you ask me to come right now?"

"Just go upstairs." Mom sighed and scuttled down the stairs. I heard her grab someone's hand and hit bare skin. Someone stumbled up the stairs.

"Trust us. Please, just trust us." Mom was quiet for a moment after saying this. "Do you need me to drag you upstairs by the ear?"

"No, no, I'll come quietly." Three scents wafted into my nose. First came Mom's gentle freesia and then Dad's distinct conditioner. The last was pine needle combined with grass, mud and maple syrup.

"Jacob?" I mumbled quietly. My eyes pricked with tears.

"Do you want to go see him?" Holly asked, ending with a grimace of pain.

"Yes. I want to see him so badly. I haven't seen him in more than a week, but you need me here." Holly started fidgeting, trying to figure out what to do. With the lack of conversation, she was no longer distracted and began writhing in pain. She went limp with relief just as a shriek emanated from behind me.

Jasper was twitching on the floor.

"Jasper! Jasper!" Alice wailed.

"She- She needs to _THINK!_"

"Go!" Holly yelled at me, shoving me out the door. "I don't know how, but he's hurting because of me! Go to Jacob!"

I slipped back out the door and heard Jasper sigh. Mom and Dad had escaped down the stairs and Jacob was standing alone at the end of the hall. Jacob's hands were buried in his pockets and he was standing away from me.

"Jacob?" He spun around and yanked his hands up out of his pockets. His eyes widened at the sight of me. "Jakey?" I asked, lurching forward two yards. He looked terrified of me. I wasn't even up to his shoulder and he was afraid of me, but I understood. I was the only one who would be able to break his heart; and he, mine. He started inching towards me.

My throat closed up. He lowered and opened his arms, waiting to hold me again, but I couldn't take his invitation quite yet.

"Do you hate me?" I asked when we were only a few feet away from each other.

"Hate... you?" Jacob stared at me. "How could I hate you? Why would I?"

"I told you to leave us alone," I explained. "I told you to leave your daughter."

"I can't hate you. I love you too much." My vision blurred and tears slipped down my cheeks. I shook with sobs as I attempted to close the gap between the two of us. I stumbled and tripped into his open arms. He scooped me up into his chest and I buried my face in his neck, unable to stop crying now that he was here.

"Shhh... shh, Nessie. It's okay. It's just fine. I love you, Renesmee, darling. I'm here, we're together. I love you so much," he crooned, rubbing my head with one hand and massaging my back while still holding me up.

"Don't ever leave me again," I blubbered. "No matter what happens, don't you dare leave." I relaxed in his arms and stuttered, "I- I shouldn't be crying. I'm j-just so... happy doesn't begin to describe how I feel. I've missed you so much."

"Leah told me." Jacob tipped my chin up and wiped my tears with his thumb. He'd also been crying. "I would've come back. I was scared you didn't want me."

"Oh, Jake, this is all my fault." I wrapped my arms around his neck feeling even more helpless and pulled my face up to his. Jacob didn't respond to my kiss at all so I pulled away gently, ready to reprimand him. "Jacob Ephriam Bl..." Jacob planted a firm kiss on my lips to stop me.

"It isn't your fault at all. It was ours. We should have told you when you were much younger, just as soon as you were old enough to understand, but we didn't."

"I should have let you tell me the whole story. I jumped to conclusions."

"But..." I grabbed his nose between my thumb and index fingers to stop him. It may not have forced him to stop but he knew to shut his mouth.

"We're both to blame." He started to say something. "Ahp, no. Don't say anything. I don't want to mess this up again." I let Jacob put me down, but I kept my arms wrapped around his neck so that I could pull myself back up to his height. For thirty seconds, all of my worries were forgotten and it was just me and Jacob. When he leaned down and placed his lips on mine, I deepened the kiss and let him pick me up so my feet lifted from the floor. I tangled my fingers into his now-short hair (why had he gotten his hair cut?) and he crushed me to him. The back of my shirt rode up just enough that his hands were touching bare skin and...

Another scream came from my room. I groaned and pulled out of the kiss.

"What the heck is going on in there?" Jacob asked, instinctively pushing me behind him. I almost started crying again but Jacob turned back around. "Don't cry, baby. Nessie, darling, tell me what's wrong?"

"Holly got hurt and Jasper and Joshua- and- and now- she's changing," I added in a whisper. Jacob tipped my chin up and looked me straight in the eye with a confused expression.

"They bit her," I wailed. Immediately, the hands holding me up disappeared and I crumpled to the ground. "Jacob, what are you doing?" I called, running back to the room. "Jake?"

"You monster!" Jacob growled. He was pinning Jasper to the wall by the neck. Alice was pounding on Jacob's back, Rosalie held Holly, and Esme was curled up in the corner. Mom was trying to push Jacob off Jasper by bracing herself against the wall and a strange pang of jealousy that I shouldn't have had burned through me.

"Get off him you stupid mutt!" Alice screamed. Jacob wasn't reacting to her blows but I knew she was going to break his ribs again. A screen of red haze covered my vision. _She_ was going to hurt _my_ Jacob.

"Stop it, Alice!" I commanded. In this instant, I wasn't just Renesmee. Jacob was a part of me and that demand held the authority of an Alpha. She only froze for an instant, but that was long enough for me to pull her away from Jacob. As soon as I had, she started thrashing around again. Dad plucked her from my arms and held her from behind, immobilizing her arms. His face held terror, anger, and reassurance.

I slipped between the wall and Jacob. Mom looked over at me and immediately crawled under his arm to get out of my way. It was good I hadn't had to say anything, I tried to convince myself. If I'd said anything, I would have hurt her. It was only that fact that calmed me down. I stayed pressed against the wall, almost not wanting to stop Jacob.

"Nessie!" Mom breathed. I snapped my head up to see Jacob shaking with tremors. I had to calm him down or he could hurt everyone in the room, Holly and me included. I pressed my hands against his chest and he froze. When I leaned against him, he backed up and let go of Jasper, wrapping his arms around me. Jasper scrambled out of the room to return to Alice.

For the second time this evening I clung to Jacob. I still felt power course through my veins, but I felt in control of the situation rather than overpowered. Now, instead of a red haze, everything was just that much clearer. As my eyes passed over each person, they gaped at me. My head snapped back and forth between everyone in the room. Esme looked like she would cry and Mom was covering her mouth again.

I tipped my head up to look at Jacob, in hope that he at least would comfort me that it was something else everyone was staring at. Our eyes locked and he gasped and lurched backward.

The room around me started spinning and I tried to grab onto something- anything- to freeze the rotation. I found myself struggling to stay standing, suddenly exhausted.

"Jacob? Jacob!" I saw the look in his face. He was torn between grabbing and holding me again and getting as far away from me as possible. "Jake!"

The only pair of eyes that weren't torn from my face were from my own reflection in the full-size mirror hanging from the door. My crimson eyes were the last thing I saw before collapsing into a dead faint.

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Like it? hate it?

I'd really love some reviews. I only got two reviews last chapter. That makes me sad.

Question of the chapter:

What are you most scared of? If you don't want me to post it at the beginning or end of next chapter, I won't, but other than any that someone says they don't want posted, I'm gonna announce one of the things someone is afraid of.

TLMA


	9. Forgotten

**A/N Hi...**

**I think that my readers don't like me anymore. I didn't get any reviews last chapter. At all. T_T Now, I really like this story and I like you guys who actually read this, but I do really like reviews. **

**I just might forget about posting next weekend. If I don't get any reviews.**

**Anyway, on to my excuses! **

**1) Like I said a few chapters ago, I just started high school last month and I'm in the IB program. I've been bogged down with homework for the past week.**

**2) The one day that I didn't have homework, Wednesday I think, I came home from school early. I was feeling horrible and I felt like I'd throw up. I didn't type at all because I didn't want to drown the computer in vomit. I also didn't want to punish my readers with writing that just stank (no pun intended) because I was sick and out of it.**

**3) School has made me a hermit. The one day that I actually could have gone out of the house because I didn't have any after school activities, I spent with one of my best friends, whom I have been neglecting horribly. (Luv ya, K) She came over yesterday, so I didn't have much time to type, what with her staying the night.**

**4) I have proven one saying true. Which saying, you ask? This one: Writer's block is when your characters get fed up with all of the horrible things you put them through and go on strike. That is SOOOO me! Just look at my story so far. nine chapters in, and I've already almost killed Jacob, had Renesmee almost bitten, gave away Jacob and Bella's secret, made Nessie send Jake away, had Nessie break down in the middle of the mall, killed Nessie's best friend by vampire bite, and that isn't even the whole list.**

**Again, I'm sorry for the wait.  
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"Nessie! Nessie!" a voice was calling my name, but I couldn't concentrate on it.

"Mhmm..." I felt my head roll back and away from the warm figure my body was pressed against.

"Wake up, Renesmee!" Warm arms held me and drops of salty water dripped onto my neck, splattering onto the corner of my mouth. Every one of my heartbeats sent a fresh wave of nausia and my throat itched and burned.

"My head..."

"You're awake!" I blinked my eyes twice to find Jacob hovering over me. I couldn't remember how he'd gotten here and I was incredibly confused.

"Jacob?" I asked, reaching up to brush my fingers against his cheek. "I missed you so much." I shook my head and groaned, almost falling out of Jacob's lap. Carlisle was at my side, his cold hands soothing my headache.

"Don't move any more. How are you feeling right now?"

"My head hurts," I moaned. "When did Jake get here?"

"Nessie," Jacob said, supporting my neck and turning me so I could look straight at him, "don't you remember?"

"Remember what?" I saw Carlisle come behind Jacob and flash a light into my eyes. "I came home from school early and went to bed, didn't I?" My eyes crossed and I forced them into focus.

"She's serious," someone said from the door. I turned in Jacob's arms to see who it was, and groaned again. Dad crouched down next to me. "She can't remember a thing about anything that happened after school. Partial amnesia," he and Carlisle diagnosed together. Dad continued. "It can happen after a traumatic experience." I racked my brain for an explanation and came up blank.

"Partial... amnesia?"

"You lost part of your memory," Jacob choked. "You bumped your head when you fell and lost your memory." Carlisle was rubbing my head and I flinched when he touched a bump on the back of it.

"That wasn't a good spot to hit your head," he scolded me. "You could have lost your vision if you hit it hard enough. Right now, you may have a concussion."

"When did I bump my head?"

"Just a minute ago!" I closed my eyes and tried to remember, barely succeding.

"Holly! Holly came over. And then- then-" I sighed. "The next thing I remember is you coming back; I asked if you hated me. Then- after- after that, you got mad at Jasper and Alice was going to hurt you. It's all fuzzy but that."

"Nothing else?"

"No." Jacob looked slightly downcast, upset about something I'd forgotten.

"Isn't there any way to jog her memory?" Jacob asked.

"Recreating the situation can help." Jacob snapped his head up, looking expectantly at Dad. He sighed in defeat and Jacob looked infinitely happier. I sat still, wondering what was going to happen as Dad left the room.

_Okay, what's going on_? I asked in my head. He just shook his head.

"Carlisle?" Dad said motioning for him to follow. A look of understanding crossed his face, though I was still clueless as ever. Jacob watched the door carefully until it clicked shut, and waited another thirty seconds before pulling me to my feet.

I stumbled into his waiting arms and he cradled me to his chest like I'd been only moments before. He took my chin and tipped it up, staring me straight in the eyes. This felt oddly familiar, but I didn't wait to contemplate it. Jacob and I were alone, something very rare in this family, and I crushed my lips to his.

He dropped one arm from beneath me and wrapped it around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I flung my arms around his neck and tangled them in his hair, finding it harder now that he'd gotten it cut. His tongue traced my bottom lip and I eagerly granted access.

As his hands grazed the bare skin of my back, memories flooded my head. I remembered Mom and Dad telling me what had happened between Mom and Jacob. Jake's and my kiss. Then, in my head I saw Holly, bleeding from a gash in her leg and thrashing around on the floor. I gasped, effectively ending the kiss. He released me, letting me drop back to the floor.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Is Holly okay?" I asked hurriedly.

"As good as she can be, I guess," he told me. "I mean, she can't get much worse, can she?"

"You know I hate it when you talk like that about my family. Holly's going to be family soon. You didn't hate her before. She's the same Holly." Jacob winced.

"That's what Bella told me when she was turned."

"I know, Jake. That's why I said it. That was the only way you'd believe me." He sighed avoiding looking into my eyes. "Jakey? Jacob?"

He closed his eyes and dropped down to his knees, sitting on his heels. "You don't have to pretend like you don't care. You were terrified."

"I think I'm still missing something here, Jake."

"I promised I would always be there to catch you. But I didn't." His whisper was almost too quiet for me to hear.

"Look at me. You can't always catch me. You're only... well, not human, but close enough. And I still have no idea what you're talking about. Look at me, Jacob." Childishly, he crossed his arms and looked down. Plopping down just in in front of Jacob but staying up on my knees so we were at the same eye level, I pleaded with with him. "Please, Jake, tell me what happened. I still can't remember." He sighed but I finally managed to catch his eye.

"Are you sure?"

"I need to know what happened, Jacob. Tell me." I scooted into his lap to make sure he knew that no matter what, everything would work out some way or another. Time slowed down infinitely while I waited for Jacob to remind me of what happened before I came to.

"I was... more than angry at the empath, Jasper, for hurting your friend," he said. Jacob took a deep breath. "He'd broken the treaty we had back in Forks. I wasn't thinking right and I wanted to hurt him. When you came in-"

"Mom was trying to push you away from him and Alice was hitting you," I interrupted, suddenly remembering. "She was going to hurt you. I yelled at her to stop and she froze. I just felt like I had so much power but I couldn't control it. I'm not sure when my eyes turned red, but I guess it was then. I was just so worried about you. It would have killed me to see you hurt." My throat closed up, making the last two words squeak. I couldn't imagine life without my Jacob.

"Nessie," he whimpered. "I'd feel the same way if you were hurt. That must have been how you felt when I went missing." He pulled me up closer to him and buried his face in my hair, smelling it.

Dad chose this instant to re-enter my room, this time with Alice in tow.

"I'm so sorry, Nessie!" she wailed. "I wasn't thinking right! I- I could've-" I shot a pointed glance at Jasper, who placed his hands on Alice's shoulders, calming her enough that I could talk some sense into her.

"You did exactly what I would have done. I probably would have been worse."

"That doesn't mean I don't feel bad about it."

"I'm just glad you listened when I told you to stop," I reassured her.

"I wasn't going to," Alice admitted. "I didn't want to listen to you, but I couldn't not. It hurt when I tried to ignore you. I couldn't fight it." Jacob's head snapped up and flicked towards Dad.

"You think?" Dad asked. After a pause, he continued. "I suppose it does make sense."

"Jakey?" I asked for clarification.

"What she said sounded like she was trying to resist an Alpha command, but that's impossible," Jacob told me. "Even if it wasn't, you'd have to be able to use one, and she'd have to be one of your pack. And that doesn't make sense."  
"Are you trying to say that a girl can't be and Alpha?" I accused.

"No, no, it's just never happened before and you aren't even a werewolf. There haven't been any female werewolves other than Leah."  
"Other than Leah," I emphasized. "She proves that there are exceptions. And there haven't been any werewolf-slash- half-vampire imprints before us, either. For all we know, I am a sort of Alpha in my own way. And I'm close enough to my family that we are like a pack."

"My idea," Dad began, "is that when Jacob imprinted on you, as the Alpha, he made you- I hate to say it- the Alpha-Female. When you got so angry at Alice, you were able to use an Alpha command, and the unused power you had was great enough to bring out the newborn vampire in you."

I took a deep breath to try to slow my heartbeat and remove the pounding from my head so that I could wrap it around what they were saying.

Fire danced in my throat and lungs, making me salivate almost violently. I started imagining ways to remove Dad, Jasper and Alice from the room so I could reach up and slice into the only blood-carrying jugular in the room. I looked up at Jacob, noticing the pulse in his neck.

"Grab her!" Dad shouted. Everyone stared at him as he lunged at me, pulling me away from Jacob. "What were you thinking!" Sanity returned to me.

"Oh my God," I whispered, terrified for my Jacob. Horrified with myself. "I need to hunt. Now."

"I'll come with you," Jacob offered.

"No!" His shoulders slumped and he frowned at me like a dejected puppy. "You can't come. It- it won't be safe for you to come."

"Why not, Ness? You've never had a problem with me coming before."

"You aren't coming, Jacob. Stay here. I'll be back in twenty minutes. Come with me, Jasper, please?" Jacob raised his eyebrows and dropped his jaw. "I'll be back, Jake, but I need to hunt. I love you." I wrapped my arms around his waist and pushed my head into his chest, afraid to kiss him in case I lost control.

"Why can't I come?"

"I'll explain later, I promise. See you soon." _Don't tell him. I'll let him know when I get back._ Dad nodded at my request. I vaulted out of the window just behind Jacob so I wouldn't have to pass Cassadee, terrified that I'd have a horrible response to her blood. Jasper followed me, landing flawlessly next to me.

I dashed out into the woods, following the same path I had when Jacob went missing, letting Jasper trail two steps behind me. When I finally couldn't hold the tears back any longer, I dropped to the ground and held my knees to my chest, falling to my side. Jasper zipped past me and had to turn around to find me again.

"I was going to kill him," I whispered. "I was trying to figure out how to get you, Alice and Dad out of the room so I could drink his blood. I- I'm scared. I don't want to hurt Jacob."

"Calm down, Nessie," he crooned. When his words alone didn't help, he sent a wave of calm over me. "It's fine. I know what you mean. Your father and I have both felt like that. Edward when he first met Bella in Bio. He was planning how to kill her. Then I almost killed her at her eighteenth birthday. It'll be easier for you to get back to normal, considering you can eat human food, but you should hunt now."

I shook my head slowly. I couldn't move. I was too afraid to move, worried that if I as much as flinched, I would find myself sucking Jacob's or Cassadee's blood. A gust of wind let me know Jasper had left, and within thirty seconds, he was back. He sat me up and placed the neck of a limp animal to my lips.

"No!" I yelled, realizing it was a doe. "I'm not going to drink another deer's blood. When I went to find Jacob, I killed a doe. I killed it's unborn fawn. No more deer." Jasper nodded simpathetically, coming back only a moment later with a small panther, holding it up to my mouth. I sucked greedily at the blood until it was dry and the fire in my throat was quenched.

"Are you finished?" he asked gently. I nodded. "Then let's go home," he continued.

"I need water first," I told him. I stumbled to a river near the spot I was curled up and dunked my head in, gulping water by the gallon. "I'm ready to go." Running home felt like it took longer than going away, even though Jasper had trouble keeping up with me this time.

Jacob was waiting at my window, staring blankly at the forest I was coming from.

"Jake!" I yelled. The tree next to our house was useful as I nimbly swung from branch to branch, reaching the window Jacob was at. He leaned out and pulled me in my room, holding me next to him.

"You scared me, Renesmee. You didn't give me an explaination. Why couldn't I come with you?"

"I almost killed you," I began. I went through the whole story, ending with, "I was so scared I would hurt you and I needed to make sure I could resist your blood. I don't want to hurt you or Cassadee or anyone."

"It's okay, Nessie, you don't have to panic. I won't up and leave again just because of that." I sighed in content, letting myself go limp into his arms. He sat on the edge of my bed and perched me in his lap. Something green hanging from his pocket brushed against my leg and I pulled the soft fabric.

"This is my favorite shirt!" I cried. "You gave it to me for my seventh birthday and I've been looking for it! Where did you find it?"

"I- I kind of took it from your dirty clothes hamper before Carlisle fixed me up. It wasn't as good as having you there with me, but it calmed me down a bit. I've had it since then."

"I love you too much for my own good, Jakey." I tilted my head back and gave him a gentle kiss, relieved that the burn in my throat was gone. "I really love-" My confession was cut off by a huge yawn.

"It's only three, Baby. Are you really that tired?" Jacob asked.

"Mm hmm."

"Have you been sleeping? You look exhausted."

"No," I admitted. "I can't sleep if you aren't with me." Jacob grinned impishly, flopping down backwards onto the bed and pulling me with him.

"I haven't slept in three weeks, Nessie, for the same reason. Not knowing if you would take me back- it just killed me." Jacob's legs were still hanging off the side of the queen-sized bed and he pulled them up so his feet were on the bed. Any other time, I would have scolded him for getting dirt on the bed but I was too tired to argue, and really didn't want to. I just smiled into his chest.

Jacob propped himself on one elbow to twist around so his head was at the pillows. I was still laying on his bare torso and kicked my Converse off so they wouldn't bother Jake. I was asleep with my head in the crook of his neck before my shoes thumped on the ground.

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**A/N **

**Can I get some reviews this time? **

**I have two challenges this time. **

**1) The good, the bad and the ugly. Tell me the best part, worst part, and worst written part of this chapter or the whole story. I want to know how to get better.**

**2) The Mean List- make a list of EVERY SINGLE mean thing that I have done to my characters in this story. This one's just for fun**

**I'm gonna dedicate the next chapter (hopefully it will be longer than this one) to two people. One will be for the good, bad and ugly, and the other is for who can identify the most unique mean things I've done. If there are repeats, it will go to the first person who put the mean thing up first.  
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	10. My Fault

**A/N Wow. two updates in one weekend. Incredible. All of you have one person to thank for this update. I got one person who reviewed me TWICE. one for chapter one and one for chapter nine.**

**This chapter is dedicated to: what ever**

**As to your question, You'll see what happened to Holly. I'm really absentminded, and when I have any idea for my story, I just have to work it in somehow. Sometimes, I forget about Holly, or Cassadee (whoops), or Eileen, or Joshua. Sometimes, I even forget about stuff I've written about. Like Christmas. I'm working on it.**

**I have some plans for this story planned out in my head. Lets see if they'll actually make it onto paper before I forget them.**

**Also, check out my other four stories. they are:**

Fate  
All Human oneshot Bella and Edward've been dating for a year. Bella fell for him when she moved to Forks, but isn't sure if he loves her. Then a fateful day in Port Angeles where her best friend shows up changes everything. Edward/Bella/Jake love triangle

Life, Death and Tears  
A series of Harry Potter one-shots. Most of them are sad. Rated T for describing deaths.

Ode to the Cullens  
This is a series of songfics from various places movies, random songs, reader suggestions that have been edited by myself to be related to Twilight. SUGGESTIONS WANTED! Some are funny, some are random, and some are kinda serious. Any twilight character

and

TLMA and Rosytoes present: Star Trek And Twilight  
This was a random chat fanfic that my friend rosytoes and I made up. THIS IS A CRACK FANFIC! We make fun of Twilight, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Spiderman. Have fun reading!

**Disclaimer: **

**me- I own twilight**

**Nessie- No you don't**

**me- but I want to.**

**Nessie- that doesn't mean you do own it.**

**Me- but WHY?**

**Nessie- because the books and movies belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Me- Can I own the characters?**

**Nessie- no.**

**Me- Can I own the wolves that weren't named? they only showed up in the end of the last book.**

**Nessie- *palm-face* no.**

**Me- Can I own Cassadee and Holly, and Eileen and Joshua?**

**Nessie- well, I suppose if you made them up...**

**Me-YAY!  
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I was just waking up when Jacob rolled out of bed. All of a sudden, the bed felt extremely cold and a shiver went down my spine.

"Jake?" I asked, my eyes still closed. "Come back to bed?" I heard the door to the bedroom creak open quietly. "Jakey?" I propped myself up on my elbow and pulled my curls backwards out of my face.

The door clicked closed just as I swung my legs out of bed. I scampered down the stairs and swung into the kitchen, slamming into Jacob. He was dumping scrambled eggs onto his plate and froze when I bumped into him. I wrapped my arms around his waist to keep from toppling down backwards.

"You look hungry," I mentioned. "Saved any eggs for me?" Jacob spun around, shoving the plate he'd just made into my hands.

"Here," he said sourly, slamming the back door open and escaping through it. I frowned. My Jacob never acted like this. I sped up to catch him and grabbed his elbow.

"What is up with you? What are you doing?"

"You were the one who told me to leave you alone," he hissed, yanking his elbow away from me. "You were the one who told me to go away."

"I don't want that any more! I just want you, Jake. All I want is for you to stay with me."

"It's too late," he growled.

"Don't go, Jakey," I begged, tears streaming down my cheeks. "Please, Jake." Jacob turned around slowly, his posture relaxing a little.

"Are you sure?" he asked me.

"I'm positive, Jakey Baby. I don't want you to leave. Never leave me." My eyes still pricked with tears but no more fell.

"I'll stay," he assured me. He held his arms out for me. As I rushed towards him, there was a bang and something whizzed past my ear straight at Jacob. I looked over my shoulder and, seeing nothing, back toward where Jacob was only a few seconds before.

Now he lay on the ground. "Jacob!" I shrieked, dropping down at his side and grabbing his arm. There was an ugly gash in his shoulder and a sticky liquid coated my palm. I flipped my shaking hand over and stared at it. Jacob's warm blood dripped slowly down my arm and I took a slow, deep breath. My eyes rolled back as fire burned in my throat again.

I leaned down and placed my lips against the open bullet wound on Jacobs chest, sucking slowly at first, then more and more greedily.

"Nessie," he groaned, barely conscious. "Renesmee." My eyes snapped back open at my whole name. "Stop," he whispered. I gasped, pulling away from him. I was killing him.

"Jacob!" I cried. "Jacob! Jake! Jakey! No! NO! Don't leave me! Don't leave me alone!"

I was still screaming while a voice in the distance echoed, "Nessie! Nessie, wake up! I'm right here, Ness, wake up!" I kept screaming for my Jacob as the life in his eyes faded away.

"Wake up..."

"I'm right here, Nessie. Wake up, I'm not going to leave you." I couldn't make sense of the words because I knew Jacob was dead. "Wake up, Baby, I'm right here."

I opened my eyes, still tear-ridden and whimpering, and looked up to meet a pair of deep brown eyes.

"Jakey," I sniveled. He sat up slowly. "Jacob." I hurtled back into his chest, flinging my arms around him. I didn't want to move at all, I just wanted my Jacob to hold me closer, ensuring me that this wasn't a dream. I pulled one of my hands around to place it on his cheek. I sighed contentedly when he gently enveloped me in his arms, even though I was still distraught.

Sobs wracked my tiny frame as I clung to my love who I had thought to be dead. Jacob rocked back and forth, burrowing his face in my hair and stroking my head lovingly. It felt like an eternity that I sat there in his arms, so relieved that he was alive that it hurt.

"What happened, Baby? You were screaming. You were saying, 'Don't leave me, don't leave me alone!' and calling my name."

"I had a nightmare," I mumbled into his chest.

"Nessie? Sweetie, what was that?" I sighed and twisted in his arms so that I was looking at him.

"I had a really bad nightmare," I admitted. "You were really mad and you were trying to leave me."

"I would never leave you, Ness. You should know that by now." I was somewhat comforted by his words, but there was more bothering me than just that.

"I did. And I didn't let you go away, but then- then- you got shot. You were bleeding and- and- I couldn't- I killed you," I choked between sobs. Jacob held me slightly away from him now, and I burst into tears again, knowing that he was rejecting me. "I'm so sorry," we whispered at the same time. My head snapped up.

"What?"

"I left you before, Ness. You've been having nightmares since we left to find that other coven, haven't you?" I nodded sheepishly.

"I was scared you'd never come back. Scared you'd been killed. I blamed it on myself. I let you go with them." I let myself go limp in his arms.

"You've kept this bottled up, Love. You haven't told anyone. I'm always here for you. Tell me everything that's been on your mind. I'm here to listen to you. Talk to me." I sighed and tried to get comfortable. I wanted to be sitting with Jake, but at the same time, I knew that I had to be able to look him in the eye to tell him my story. I finally settled on sitting cross legged on the opposite side of the bed as Jake.

"I missed you," I began. Jacob gently took one hand of mine in his and stared me straight in the eye. Staring into his deep, brown eyes, I felt relaxation take control of my body and I started telling him everything. As I spoke, the look on Jacob's face became more pained, but he just patted my knee reassuringly and let me continue.

Through my chattering, I had stopped crying and started scooting closer to Jacob, needing him next to me. I kept running my hands through my hair and whenever I said something that only made sense once I said it out loud, I would sit up straighter and speak more animatedly. I remembered how empty I was every time I thought of Jacob and bent over, clawing at my chest, trying to keep tears from coming as I tried to explain how I had felt while he was gone. That was the only time Jacob interrupted me, and even then, only to assure me that he understood and felt the same way.

"I got you a gift," I'd said, suddenly remembering the missed holiday. "A Christmas present. I broke down in the middle of the mall when I found it. It was perfect and it just hurt to know you weren't here."

When I finally finished my monologue, I found Jacob's face only inches from mine.

"Don't you feel better?" he asked. I smiled and leaned forward so our lips touched.

"The best I've felt in weeks. I love you so much, Jakey." I slid down so my head was nestled in the crook of his neck. "I don't think I can get back to sleep, though." I swung my legs out of bed and pulled the Gucci sneakers out of my closet, slipping them on without bothering with the laces.

"Last I checked, Moody, Blondie, and Esme are with Holly in the other room. Everyone else should be downstairs."

"Don't call them names," I scolded, reaching up to place a kiss on his nose. "Can I see Holly?" I asked.

"Not now, Nessie. It'll just make you more upset. You already feel guilty about this."

"Fine, but I want to see her sometime today."

"Of course, Baby," Jacob assured me, wrapping an arm around my waist and leading me down the stairs. As soon as our door was opened, we were greeted by cat calls and wolf whistles from Emmett. I groaned.

"Sounded like you two were having fun earlier!" he called, wiggling his eyebrows. "'Jacob!'" he moaned, mocking me. "'Jakey!'"

"Shut up!" I yelled. "I had another nightmare." I buried my head in Jacob's chest and everyone got quiet. Jacob turned his head back and forth.

"Where's Cassadee?" he growled. Mom came out of the kitchen with Cassadee, holding her hand. Cassadee had her head bowed and she looked the same way she had since I went zombie- alone and upset. My stomach clenched seeing my daughter sad. I hadn't been a very good mother the past few weeks. She'd taken to disappearing to her room.

"Good, you're awake." Mom grinned. "She's right here, Jake." Cassadee snapped her head up and Jacob was beaming.

"Daddy!" she yelled, running straight into his arms. He swung her around in the air, throwing and catching her. "Grampa said that we'd have Christmas when you got back. Can we have Christmas now?"

Jacob laughed. "Not now, Cassy. We'll celebrate it in a few days, once everything's calmed down."

"'Kay, Daddy. Will you give me a horsey ride?" Jacob shot a glance over at me and I grinned, waving them away.

"Go ahead, Honey. Just don't let her get hurt and be back in thirty minutes." He smiled happily, swinging Cassadee onto his back. She clung to his neck and he ran out the door, bursting out of his skin and into a puff of fur. I saw Cassadee adjust her grip to Jacob's fur so she wouldn't fall off just before they leaped into the woods.

I turned back to the rest of my family. "Where's Carlisle?"

"He, Esme, Rosalie and Jasper are upstairs with Holly." I didn't have to turn around to know it was Seth. It hadn't sounded like anyone in my family, and he was the least hostile to them.

"Hey, Seth!" I turned around, giving him a big hug.

"You're in a good mood," he commented.

"You think? Jacob's back, Cassadee's happy for once in the past few weeks, and Holly may be in pain, but once she's changed, she'll be part of the family too!"

"You know, I haven't met Cassadee yet."

"Well, you'll have to stay until she and Jake get back. They're out on a run."

"Can't, I have to go soon, but I wanted to drop in. I'm glad to see you're back to normal, but what about those other bloodsuckers? The one who bit Holly and Eileen, was it?" I blanched. I hadn't seen them since I found Holly in the kitchen, fighting for her life this afternoon. Had it really been so short? Yes, still Friday. It felt like it had been at least three days.

"Dad? Mom?" I glanced back at them. Everyone else's faces mirrored mine exactly. "Crap."

"There's no need to panic just yet," Alice said sensibly. "I don't see anything about the Volturi yet. They probably just went out hunting for a while to help Josh calm down. That's what I do whenever something happens with Jasper, whenever he gets a little to close to biting someone for comfort."

"Fine. I'm just a bit worried. About everything." I sighed. "I'm gonna go see Holly now."

"I'll come with you," Seth said. "If that's okay?" His cheeks were tinged with pink.

"Sure, Seth, come on." I smiled at him, tiptoeing up the stairs to the room at the end of the hall. Seth followed wordlessly as I opened the door quietly.

"Shhh," Jasper warned. "She's sleeping." I smiled, sitting in a chair by her bed. Seth did the same, but across from me. Holly was changing before my eyes. Her ever-soft hair was now silkier than any of Alice's dresses and her slightly-too-large nose had shrunk to a cute button size. She was taller than she had been before, just heightening her beauty.

"She was pretty enough before," Seth murmured. I turned from Holly and looked at him.

"She's going to be stunning," I told him.

"But she doesn't have to be. She was plenty beautiful even before now." I frowned.

"You didn't imprint on her, did you?"

"No!" he exclaimed. "But I did like her. Since the first day of school. I just couldn't tell her, just in case I was going to imprint in her lifetime. I didn't want her to hurt like Leah did, especially if it was my fault."

"You're too sweet for your own good, Seth." He smiled, blushing, and looked back at Holly. When he touched her cheek gently, she stirred and opened her eyes.

"Seth?" she asked quietly. "What are you doing here?" Seth couldn't answer. His eyes were locked on her purplish blue ones. "I'm sick, you shouldn't be here."

"You're not sick."

"I have a fever, don't I?"

"No, you're just becoming a vampire." Holly raised her eyebrows.

"You expect me to believe that?"

"You'll see." Seth stood and left the room. Holly sighed.

"He's so cute. And he's only a year older than us. Do you think he'd accept a date if I offered it to him?"  
Jasper had a slightly pained look on his face and was concentrating hard, but had to fight back a fit of laughter.

"He's not really allowed to go out with anyone. Seth and Jacob are part of the Quileute tribe and some of the direct descendants of the Quileute people have... arranged marriages." It was the best way I could describe it.

"Oh."

"Don't worry, Lee-Lee, you'll find someone."

"Okay. I'm going back to sleep. It makes me feel better. Night, Rey." With that, she closed her disconcertingly beautiful eyes and fell asleep.

"How does she do that?" I asked.

"Not sure," Rosalie told me. "But she says it makes it stop hurting, so we let her."

"This life will be so different for her. It'll be months if not years before she can see me or Cass or anybody."

"We'll all be helping her through this together," Carlisle assured me, wrapping his arm around Esme's shoulders.

"I just don't want this for her. Nobody wants this for her best friend."

"I know. We all know, Ness." Esme pulled me into her chest. "We have something to talk to everyone else about, too."

"What is it?"

"We'll tell you downstairs." I sighed, rolling my eyes dramatically.

"How is she?" asked Mom when we got down.

"She's fine. Sleeping."

"Holly's very different from the rest of us," Carlisle began. "Her change is slightly different since she was bitten by two vampires instead of just one. And Jasper is helping her control the pain. But he can't do it alone. It hurts him when he takes her pain and he can't keep it for long. We all agree that the very last part of the change is the most painful, correct?" Everyone but Alice and I nodded vigorously. "Jasper and I had the idea that we could help Holly through it. Once she hits the last, critical point, Jasper will take most of her pain-"

There was a chorus of complaints, including, "That'll hurt Jasper!" from Alice, and "We can't do that to him," from Mom.

"You didn't let me finish. Jasper will take most of her pain, and if you are willing, split it among everyone in the area. It won't be as bad as any of our changes, and Jasper has offered to take the pain for anyone who doesn't want to. But it would help Holly."

"I'll help," I offered immediately.

"No!" Everyone yelled at the same time. I shrank back in my seat. "We can't let you be near Holly when she first wakes up. You have a heartbeat and blood. None of the wolves can be here either. Holly would automatically attack them." I closed my eyes at Carlisle's explanation.

"I- I guess. But I want to be with her. As soon as possible. She's my best friend."

"Another matter," Carlisle continued. "Once Holly's stabilized, we'll have to fake her death and move. It may be best if we faked a death of one of us, too, just so we have a reason to move away."

"I CALL BEING DEAD!" Emmett bellowed.

"We'll stage that later, but right now, we have to find a new house. And we need to make sure anyone with a heartbeat isn't anywhere near here in the next few days."

"I'll go back home then," I said. "Send Jake and Cass over when they get back."

"You mean like now?" Jake asked, grabbing me from behind and kissing my head.

"Yes, like now. Go back out and phase again. I'll meet you at the house with Cassadee. We're having movie night tonight. Nobody's allowed here for the next two days."

"I'll carry you both."

"Thanks, Jakey baby," I said tilting my head up to kiss him. Cassadee giggled.

"Daddy's nakey." Jacob practically threw her at me running out the door to phase without ruining the house. I looked at the floor, blushing three shades of red.

"I- erm-" Jacob barked from outside. "Bye!" I swung Cassadee up on to Jacob's back and leaped up after her. Me sitting behind her and nearly laying flat on Jacob's back to make sure she wouldn't fall, Cassadee started squirming.

"We're almost home, Cass, you can get off soon."

"I don't wanna get off. I just wanna sit up." I sighed, but sat up almost straight, feeling the cold wind through my hair and my warm daughter leaning against me in the darkness. Cassadee started slipping to the side and I grabbed her quickly.

"Slow down, Jake. Cass almost fell off." Jacob's sprint slowed to a slow trot and I clutched her sleeping frame to my chest with one arm and a tuft of Jacob's fur with the opposite hand. "You are the best dad ever, Jakey."

A low rumble in his chest made me smile with content. When we got home, I slid down off of Jacob's back, careful not to jostle the three-year-old-sized body of my daughter.

"Go get changed, Jake. I'm just going to put Cassadee to bed. I'll be done in just a couple of minutes." Jacob pulled his lips away from his teeth in a way that could only be described as a wolfy grin. I smiled back and pushed the doors between myself and Cassadee's room open with my back.

Gently, I put Cassadee down in her toddler bed, tucking her in and pulling the string on her favorite giraffe music box. As "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" began playing, a small smile appeared on her tranquil face and I escaped the room, closing the door with a quiet click. I sighed, knowing that Jacob was on the opposite side of the house from me.

"Jakey," I whispered. "I'm coming in." I swung our door open and found Jacob laying on top of the covers waiting for me. My heart spluttered and I could tell Jacob heard it, because he grinned. Jacob stood, closed the door gently and carried me over the bed, inching his fingers up my leg and to the waistband of the pajama pants I was still wearing from when I came home from school early.

"So much lost time," he murmured.

"We have forever to make it up."

"But there's no time like the present," he countered, placing a trail of kisses from my ear down to my collarbone, and then more from my bare stomach up to my chest.

"You are so right." And he was.

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**A/N Don't kill me. I'm not going into more detail. I'm not going to write any lemons. I'm fourteen for crying out loud! Anything I write about relationships or anything like that is either a complete guess or based on other fanfictions or books that I've read.**

**Next chapter is going to be a happyish chapter- which means it's gonna stink since I can't write happy. I write either "oh, that's so cute- barf" or "WAHHH" stories. I'm on the extreme ends of the spectrum, but I'm doing writing exercises to fix that. Anyway...**

**I have two challenges again. Nobody answered my other ones, so those are still in play.**

**a) I need a new town for the Cullens to live in. If anyone knows an overcast town, let me know.**

**b) Take your best guess at Seth's future for this story. I don't know if I've given enough hints, but give it your best shot.**

**Thanks!**

**TLMA  
**


	11. Maybe

**A/N I'm Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I haven't updated and I had these two chapters written out since wednesday. I was going to put one up on Friday and then one yesterday, but since I didn't, I'll just give you both of them today. I've been really busy with homework- again, I say I'm in the IB program- and Ballet and Math and everything. I'm gonna type up the next chapter today and hopefully have it up tomorrow. If you're lucky.**

**Disclaimer: If I was SM, I probably would have an account here- but only to sign up for a bunch of contests and see if people recognized that it was really me who wrote the stories. Now, this story isn't for a contest, so I must not be SM.**

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I woke the next morning to my favorite sound in the world, Jacob's heartbeat. I sighed happily and tilted my head backwards into his chest, reveling in the knowledge that no matter what, he would never leave me again; that from today on, I would wake up in his arms every morning. I turned around in Jacob's arms, fingering the old, worn chain his ring was on, the one I bought a replacement for. Happily, I closed my eyes to sleep, but heard again what had actually woken me up.

"M-M-Mommy? Momma?" I heard the lump in my daughter's throat meaning she was crying.

"I'm coming, Cassie. It's okay," I whispered just loud enough for her to hear. Cassadee's wails quieted to almost-silent whimpers. After slipping out of bed slowly enough that it wouldn't wake Jacob, I pulled on one of Jacob's over-sized red t-shirts and made my way down the long hallway to Cassadee's room.

She sat with her back to the wall and her tiny knees up against her chest wrapping her twig-sized arms around them. When she heard the door open, she looked up at me and I could see her bloodshot eyes and puffy cheeks. I sat on the edge of her bed and took her into my lap.

"You okay, baby-doll?"

"Was it real? Did it really happen?" I sighed into her hair, realizing what must have happened.

"It's okay, baby. It was just a bad dream." She burst into tears again. "Whoa, whoa, Cass. It wasn't real. It was all in your head. There's nothing wrong."

"I wanted it to be real!" she wailed. I crossed my legs and started rocking her, crooning.

"Tell me what you thought happened."

"Daddy came back. And..." I leaped up and swung her around, laughing.

"It was real, Cass! Your dream was real! Daddy's back! Jacob is back!" Cassadee squealed happily.

"So where is he?" she asked.

"He's in the bedroom."

"Can I see him?" I hesitated, but it would be the perfect way to wake him up. A practical joke the first day he was home.

"Sure," I giggled childishly. I swung her onto my hip and carried her back into my bedroom. She had a grin that threatened to split her face in two. When the door clicked shut, I placed her gently on her feet. She looked around the room a few times, then back at me, frowning.

"Where is he?"

"Right there," I told her pointing to the bed.

"Why would Baby be on your bed?" I was confused for a moment, and then burst out laughing. Cassadee had always wanted a baby brother, ever since a few months ago when Embry's imprint, Andrea, had her first son. Andrea was only a few years older than Claire, and Claire was looking forward to next year, when she would be eighteen and it would be completely legal for her and Quil to get married and start a family.

Cassadee was tapping her foot at me. "So where's Baby?" I glanced over at Jacob to make sure he was still asleep before answering.

"That part was just a dream, sweetie. I'm sorry Cass, but we didn't even know that we would have you. We want to at least wait a while before we have another baby so that we can give you all our attention."

Cassadee huffed and crossed her arms. "I still want a brother." She blinked and disappeared from the room. A crunching of springs from her bed let me know she'd gotten back to bed safely. I sighed and crawled back into bed. It was only three and we'd had a long month. Even with the lullaby of Jacob's heartbeat, I couldn't fall asleep again. I had too much on my mind.

Secretly, when I found out about Cassadee, I had hoped she would be a boy. But Jacob was hoping for a girl, so I never told him. Now, I wasn't sure if the longing I'd held for a son was still there. Cassadee was my baby girl, and even if I did want a son, we weren't ready for another baby. Not while Cassadee was only a few months old. Not for another few years. I was only fourteen and too young to be worrying about having a baby, let alone a second. I smiled, fingering the ring on Jacob's chain and pushing the thoughts to the back of my mind.

Eventually, about half an hour later with no sleep, I gave up and got dressed for real for today. I chose a red tank top and short shorts and turned on the kitchen light. The only things in the fridge that I actually liked and was still good was a large, red, tomato and a lemon. I pulled them out, making a mental note to go shopping today, and turned to the pantry. There was a can of tuna and Cheetos.

"Perfect." Taking out a bowl, I sliced the top of the can open and let the tuna plop out. I stirred some mayo, mustard, and lemon juice into the tuna and scooped it into the tomato that I had sliced the top off of and gutted. This was one of my favorite meals. Tuna Tomato and Cheetos. It was the only thing Jacob wouldn't eat. He loathed tomatoes with a burning passion.

"How can you eat that?" I leaped, nearly dropping my breakfast on the floor.

"Jake! You scared me!"

"Sorry, Honey." I blushed a little, embarrassed both by my reaction to Jacob walking in the door and the nickname. "So why are you eating that anyway? You like French Toast better."

"Why are you up? It can't be past four or so."

"I asked first."

"I guess that's fair. I'm not having French Toast because the eggs and milk were both bad. I've been living at the big house for the past month. Don't open the fridge," I warned him. He froze with his hand on the door. "It smells horrible."

"Always looking out for me," he said, coming up behind me. "I couldn't sleep because you weren't there." I smiled and leaned my head back to steal a kiss. "Ew."

I turned around and gave him a playful glare.

"Tomatoes," he explained. I giggled.

"We're eating out today anyway."

"Really?" Jacob raised his eyebrows. "We don't have _anything_ for breakfast?"

"Nope." I grinned. "We're going to IHOP. And we'd be going there even if the fridge was full of fresh food. You're finally back and we need to celebrate." We never really went out to eat, even though we could afford it.

"You know I love you, right?"

"Only just as much as I love you, Jake." And idea popped into my head when I felt the light weight of the tomato in my hand. "And Jakey-Boo?"

"Yes, Nessie Baby?"

"What have you been eating recently? You're skin and bones." It was true. I could easily wrap my arms around his waist and almost grab my elbows while before he wasn't nearly as skinny.

"I really haven't been eating much," he admitted. "I've been worried about you and didn't eat often. I stayed wolf most of the time." My plan was working.

"Well then, Jake, before we go..."

"Yes?"

"You're gonna eat the rest of my tomato!" His face fell and his eyes widened.

"What?"

"You," I said, pointing at him. "Eat," I mimed shoveling food into my mouth. "Tomato." I smirked while holding the tomato out to him. I sobered up and looked at him pleadingly. "Please? You've gotten really skinny. I don't think it's healthy and Esme would say the same. So would Mom and Carlisle. You need to eat and nothing else is good."

"Can't I just eat the Cheetos?"

"Jacob Ephriam Black! Don't you know-" Jacob swiped the tomato from my hand and took a big bite out of it.

"Only for you, Baby." I smiled and kissed his cheek. I loved how he said that. If it had been any other guy, it would have sounded conceited, but Jacob made it sound sweet and loving.

"Before we go, can I go see Holly?" Jacob sighed, the tomato juice dribbling from the corner of his mouth looking a lot like blood.

"Ness-"

"Just one last time today before I can't see her any more. It's going to be at least a few months, if not years, before she has the restraint to be around any type of blood without going crazy. She won't be able to see her family or any of her other friends, and she needs to know that I'm there for her in mind if not body." I presented my points as rationally as I could, but I felt hysteria seeping into my voice near the end. Jacob pulled me into his lap, still holding the tomato tenderly.

"I have to be in the room with you. And everyone else, too." I sighed but nodded my head in defeat. "Then you can see her. But Cassadee can't be there."

"I know, Jake. I wouldn't have let her come any way. Now, Honey, finish that tomato before we go to the big house. If you don't complain, I might let you have some Cheetos." Jacob rolled his eyes dramatically, taking another huge chomp from the tomato and wiping his mouth with the back of his wrist.

"Did you just use that as an excuse to get me to eat it?" he asked, raising the tomato. "That thing about me being too thin?"

"No, Jake, I was serious." I pressed my hand firmly against his cheek, forcing the image of him before into his head.

"See, I'm not that bad."

_That was you before. Now..._ I compared him to Seth, one of the youngest and smallest, and the one of his pack I'd seen most recently. Seth looked like a body builder compared to Jake. Tears pricked at my eyes seeing how scrawny he'd become, and because I had sent him away. I was brought out of my sorrow by the sound of a tomato splatting on the clean floor.

"It's not your fault!" Jacob growled.

"You weren't this thin before."

"And I'll eat IHOP out of house and home to make up for it just for you and Cassie."

"Maybe not that much, Baby," I giggled.

Jacob grabbed me and started tickling my feet, belly, and neck, making my knees buckle.

"Stop, Jake!" I gasped.

"You were the one who said I was too skinny! I get to eat what I want at the restaurant!"

"Yes! Yes!" I squealed, squirming to get out of his iron grasp.

"And you have to forgive me for running off," he half-joked.

"I already forgave you! It was my fault!" Jacob frowned at me.

"Now forgive yourself," he scolded, ticking the back of my knees.

"It was an honest mistake!" I shrieked. "It was a misunderstanding and it wasn't either of our faults and it will never happen again and now let me go!"

"Now tell me you love me."

"I always have!" Jacob kept tickling me relentlessly. "Jacob! Cassadee is still asleep!"

"No I'm not," she whispered from the doorway.

"Yes you are!" I rebutted, mentally telling her to go back to bed. "Let go, Jake!" He stopped for a moment, and the muffled plodding of Cassadee's bunny slippers faded as she returned to her room. Jacob grabbed my stomach again and I started getting frustrated. "Stop it!"

His hands froze and I opened my eyes, slightly upset. I stood up to get the mop so I could clean the tuna from the floor. The lights were brighter than they had been just a minute before. My muscles were tense and ready to leap if needed, but exhausted at the same time. My blood coursed thick and fast, a pounding headache getting worse with each beat of my pulse.

"Crud. Not again," I complained, slipping back to the floor helplessly. At least this time I didn't hit my head and I remembered everything that happened. I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut against the pounding headache. Jacob was at my side in an instant, lifting me into his arms and getting ready to run out the door.

"No," I croaked. So tired. I wanted to lay my head on Jacob's shoulder and fall asleep, but I resisted the impulse. I lifted my arm tiredly and layed my hand on his chest, forcing my thoughts into his mind. _I'm fine. I'll be fine. I just need to lay down._

"I'm worried about you, Ness." His words begged me to let him bring me to Carlisle for tests, but his posture relaxed slightly. "Your eye's are weird again. They aren't your eyes. And you were able to control me completely. I was going to keep tickling you for another few minutes, but I couldn't. You used an Alpha command on _me_."

_I'm sorry. I just wanted you to let me get back up._

Jacob sighed frustratedly. "I'm not _angry_, Baby. Just confused. I'm supposed to be the Alpha," he said absentmindedly, "but you, you're like the Super-Alpha or something. I wonder if you could use that on Leah or Seth or anyone else."

_I'm scared, Jake. I can't control it and I can't stop it and I can't keep from collapsing. I'm scared._ I opened my eyes to make sure he'd see exactly what I meant. He would automatically blame himself for imprinting on me, but it wasn't his fault.

"I know it's not my fault, Ness," he assured me. I'd forgotten he could still hear my thoughts. "I want to help you, Sweetie. It takes time. If you want, we can try to get rid of this Alpha thing."

_Are you kidding me? Now I can make absolutely sure Daddy doesn't hurt you._

Jacob chuckled. "I guess that is a perk. Then I'll help you learn to use it. And from now on, I'll be there to catch you when you fall."

_You broke that promise last time_, I joked. His answer was humorless.

"That was before we agreed that I'd never leave you again."

_True. Now can we go lay down? I'm tired._

"Sure, Honey." Jacob carried me down the hall to our room, where Cassadee was curled up like a little puppy dog in the middle of the bed. Jacob and I both grinned at the analogy I made. In one fluid motion, Jacob slipped me into bed and pulled Cassadee up into his arms. I grabbed his wrist before he left.

_Don't you dare try to cook anything for breakfast. You'll end up poisoning yourselves._

"Me? Chef Jacob, poison someone with food? Moi? _Never_." His fake French accent grated against my eardrums and I grimaced. I knew he was being sarcastic, but just to prove my point, I showed him all of the failed dinners he'd made.

_Just don't blow anything up. If you break another baby bottle, so help me, Jake, heads are gonna roll._ _Namely, yours, _Jacob rolled his eyes at me, though he took me seriously and smiled at me before adjusting Cassadee's position against his chest and shutting the door. I drifted quietly into dreams of my perfect family.

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**A/N I forgot to mention that last chapter, there was a reference to another story that I didn't even notice I had until I reread the chapter. The story that I referenced was a Sci-Fi/fantasy novel, and if anyone can tell me what the quote was, who said it, and from what series, they deserve a giant Jacob or Edward cookie. **

**Good? Bad? Ugly? Review!**


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